1
Liz Truss is resigning, just as soon as we can get her out from under the desk. #kitileaks
2
“Johnson has said he’ll only come out of his bedroom if you all stop being mean about him” #kitileaks
3
Truss doesn’t like the wallpaper… #kitileaks
4
Sue Gray’s report has been delivered to Downing Street. Boris Johnson will lie to parliament about it this afternoon. #kitileaks
5
One of these removals vans is just for the wallpaper… #kitileaks
(Photo @PoliticalPics)
6
I’ve just checked the kitchen and there’s a week of supplies for a normal family. Johnson will have polished those off by breakfast, so if we block deliveries we’ll have him out by lunchtime tomorrow. #DowningStreetSiege #kitileaks
7
The cabinet have agreed who should deliver the message to Boris Johnson the he has to resign: it’s going to be Ukrainian President Zelenskyy on a Zoom call. It’s what he would have wanted. #kitileaks
8
Boris Johnson was at his desk at 7am and has worked non-stop to find solutions for the cost of living cr… Nah, he’s sitting in his vest and pants and watching repeats of Homes Under the Hammer. #kitileaks
9
Operation Red Meat plans:
Sunday - scrap the BBC
Monday - Navy gunships to target asylum seekers
Tuesday - Reinstate the death penalty
Wednesday - Paint a huge Union Jack on white cliffs of Dover
Thursday - Bring back national service
Friday - Invade somewhere
#kitileaks
10
I’m not saying that Boris Johnson is keen to avoid #PMQs tomorrow but he’s been shaking hands with everyone in the covid ward again… #kitileaks
11
Just watched Boris Johnson record his statement. Summary:
Waffle
Waffle
World-leading (NB: this is a lie)
Waffle
Christmas
Build back better (NB: also a lie)
He should stick to hosting quizzes.
#kitileaks
12
Boris Johnson has stayed in his pyjamas all day muttering “what’s the point?” - unfortunately that’s not unusual for a Friday… #kitileaks
13
Foreign Secretary Dominic Raab has gone into isolation. He hasn’t got COVID, he’s just hiding. #kitileaks
14
#kitileaks Boris Johnson has received a questionnaire from the police about the Downing Street parties. He’s left it unanswered and written “It would be wrong of me to comment until the police complete their investigation”
15
Thanks a lot Sue, now Boris is in tears and refusing to come out of his room. Hope you’re happy with yourself. #partygate #kitileaks
16
Johnson’s team is briefing that they’ve filled a replacement cabinet. This is a lie, unless Rees-Mogg and Dorries are going to do 12 jobs each. Nobody is answering their calls, let alone saying yes. #kitileaks
17
#kitileaks Further easing of lockdown in England to be delayed by at least a month. The government ballsed it up. Again. Sorry (that apology is from me, but you’re due one from them)
18
Boris Johnson is addressing Conservative MPs in an attempt to cling-on to his job. He’s going to tell them that he’s willing to consider occasionally telling the truth and will commit to combing his hair weekly. #kitileaks #NoConfidence
19
Boris Johnson is being briefed on the latest coronavirus figures by the experts that he’s been ignoring. His response rhymes with “clucking bell”
#kitileaks
20
I’m with them. The fridge has been locked. Big dog’s about to be put out of his misery #kitileaks twitter.com/BBCBreaking/st…
21
I’ll give you a clue: the leak came from a resident of 10 Downing Street that’s not me… #kitileaks twitter.com/BBCPolitics/st…
22
#kitileaks - Boris Johnson’s still in bed. His staff are too afraid to wake him with the bad news. This is going to put a real dampener on his Rice Krispies…
23
I’m not saying the Conservatives have definitely lost both by-elections, but Boris Johnson is currently eyeing up large fridges to hide in… #kitileaks
24
#kitileaks Most of the COBRA meeting has been spent discussing excuses for keeping the Russian donations to the Conservative Party…
huffingtonpost.co.uk/amp/entry/dona…
amp.lbc.co.uk/radio/presente…
bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politi…
25
#kitileaks Some of the Conservative MPs claiming that they’ll support Johnson in tonight’s vote are lying. It’s a secret ballot so they can say one thing and do another. #NoConfidence