1
MOM: "What is wrong with your pants?"
ME: "Nothing. It's drop crotch, it's a style."
MOM: "It looks like you pooped."
#ELYlive
2
[our first exchange]
ME: "Hi Mom!"
MOM: (hugs me, looks me over) "Are you still poor?"
#ELYlive
3
MOM: "Why don't they bring an extra chair for my purse? Whatever."
[pulls this shit out of her purse]
#ELYlive
4
5
MOM: "You look very attractive."
ME: "Thanks!"
MOM: "Like your mom."
ME: "...thanks?"
#ELYlive
6
[Mom finally meets my dogs. Points at Pesto]
MOM: "He look like you."
ME: "How so?"
MOM: "Like CRAZY PERSON."
(laughs in my face)
#ELYlive