1328
If you were subject to “hi hungry I’m dad” or “a bird is going to poop on that pouting lip” by your midwestern father you may be entitled to financial compensation
1329
Midwest “nice” hits different with a little nice weather
1331
Midwest dad go-to sayings
“hi hungry I’m dad”
flips meat on grill: “that’s what I’m talking about”
gets bill: *looks at youngest child* “hope you brought your wallet”
asked for time: “time for you to get a watch”
standing in their way: “you make a better door than a window”
1333
You’ll overhear elderly Midwest folks talking in public saying “the other day” and refer to something in 1992
1334
Southern hospitality and Midwest nice are the same except the Midwesterner has been trying to leave for 45 minutes and is too polite to say anything
1337
There Are Eight Parts to a Perfect Midwest Super Bowl Party
8. Seven layer dip
7. Charcuterie board (aka meat and cheese)
6. Lil smokies
5. Meatballs (toothpick)
4. Nachos
3. Chicken wings
2. Rotel + hamburger Queso
1. Buffalo chicken dip
1339
“Where you from?”
“Illinois”
“Ohh ok what’s that by?”
“Iowa, Wisconsin, Indiana...”
“Um where?”
“The fields.... I’m from the third cornfield east of Lake Michigan and my Dad’s name is Sawyer Bean soy bean for short.”
1340
New Yorkers: “I can’t live somewhere small like the Midwest”
also New Yorkers:
1341
People that have the patience to make these are American treasures and should be cherished
1342
In order to properly meet someone in the Midwest you must somehow know a neighbor, relative, distant relative or someone who went to school with them
1343
It’s funny when Midwesterners say “just up the road” because it could mean a 5 min walk or 3 hours to the nearest city
1344
Visiting the Midwest y’all need anything?
1345
Speak midwestern 101
No Yeah = Yes
Yeah no = No
Yeah no for sure = Definitely
Yeah no yeah = I’m sorry, but unfortunately, the answer is yes
No yeah no = oh no, you’ve got nothing to worry about
Buy here: midwestvseverybody.com/cart
1347
“It’s kind of cold”
Midwesterners: cold? This is not cold. I’m wearing shorts and a hoodie today. I was born in the snow and use ice for a blanket.
1348
Once again the Midwest proving why it’s the best region in the world
Merry Christmas 🎁 twitter.com/uiowa/status/1…
1349
⚠️ Trigger warning ⚠️
This is what happens when you don’t tap the straps and say “that’s not going anywhere”
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody