1001
South: this is the coldest it’s been in decades
Northerners: cold?! I was born in an igloo. My first job was for Santa in the North Pole and I rode a polar bear to work every day. We eat ice for breakfast
1002
How midwesterners politely tell their visitor that it's time to go home 101:
*take a deep breath* then you just say "welp" really forcefully and slap your knees with your hands, then stand up. Other midwesterners will recognize the signal and say "spose we should head out"
1005
Say what you will about the Midwest but we know how to make a gas station
1006
People act like the Midwest doesn’t have any culture. Explain chili soup and cinnamon rolls
1008
This picture smells like
rotel cheese dip
lil smokies
meatballs
and chili
1009
Midwest dads:
gets bill at restaurant: "alright what’s the damage”
tightens strap on back of truck: “that’s not going anywhere”
flips over a piece of meat on the grill: “that’s money right there”
Kid is hungry: “hi hungry I’m dad”
answers the phone: “YELLO”
1010
“We’ve already had false spring and second winter when is it going to be real spring?”
1012
Most Popular Super Bowl Food in the Midwest
8. Seven layer dip
7. Rotel + hamburger Queso
6. Lil smokies
5. Meatballs (toothpick)
4. Nachos
3. Chicken wings
2. Pizza
1. Buffalo chicken dip
#NFLTwitter
1013
Winter:
a. lightning
b. thunder
c. blizzard
d. -40° ➡️ 60°
Midwest: “all of the above”
1014
Fun things do in small town midwest during quarantine :
-admire road work
-go to Walmart (don’t hang too long)
-bonfire/shed party (FaceTime)
-run through a field
-watch tornado
-experience 4 seasons in 4 hours
1015
┏┓
┃┃╱╲ In this
┃╱╱╲╲ house
╱╱╭╮╲╲ we support
▔▏┗┛▕▔ & appreciate
╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲
╱ 50 degree days
in December ____ ╲
╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲
▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔
1016
Imagine a Cornhole game to the death twitter.com/dondadabossman…
1017
We are all living in a Midwest simulation
1018
us: thanksgiving
Midwest: christmas :)
us: but it’s November🍂
Midwest: christmas :) ❄️🎄😍
1019
Midwesterners emailing someone for help
1020
Midwesterners do this and think they’ve beat Mother Nature
1021
Nobody:
Midwesterners: I hope it rains to tonight to break the humidity
1022
⚠️ WARNING
You may experience some road delays in the coming weeks
That would be farmers preparing to feed a few people
1024
It’s always “Ope sorry” and never “I brought you culvers”
1025
Blizzards and ice storms prepared us for 14 day quarantines
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody