951
One of the great St. Paddy’s Day Traditions
Chicago, IL
952
Midwesterners in paradise twitter.com/barstoolsports…
953
Midwesterner 1: smell that?
Midwesterner 2: yep
Californian: huh?
Midwesterner 1: rain shower rolling in
954
*small town Midwest*
Friend: what should we do?
Me: idk drive 45 minutes to our favorite restaurant?
955
“I’ve lived in the Midwest my whole life”
*doesn’t know what temperature to use to get rid of fog on the window*
956
Midwesterner: you smell that?
Californian: huh?
Floridian: 🤪
New Yorker: no
Midwesterner: grab a lawn chair my left knee is aching and I can smell a storm about to roll in
958
The epitome of Midwesterners:
A packed gym
Everyone walking around going “Ope, sorry”
“Let me just SQUEEZE past ya there”
“Oh no don’t worry”
“Wanna drink some POP”
959
Babe you good? You barely said “COWS” when we passed them a second ago.
960
7 stages of midwestern love
1. “Watch out for deer”
2. “I’ll start your car for you”
3. “Jeet yet?”
4. “I’m bringing you Culvers”
5. “You remind of a lot of Billy”
6. “I’ll make you a plate to take some home”
7. “Call me when you get there so I know you made it”
961
Like a good dip, there are 8 layers to a Midwestern goodbye:
- about to leave warning
- a "welp, spose it’s time” statement
- knee slap
- walking to the doorway
- conversation in the doorway
- hugs
- placing hand on doorknob
- more hugs and waving as you’re driving away
962
Stages of Shoveling Snow
- assignment from parents
- layering up
- preshovel optimism
- shoveling row by row
- reshoveling the leftovers
- snot and loogies
- full body sweat
- complete & utter defeat
963
Midwesterners toxic trait is thinking that it’s time to drink on the patio just because it’s above 40° and sunny
964
“Hey Buddy” either means hello friend or there is a fight starting in 5 seconds
966
If you think the Midwest is just a bunch of corn fields, Kwik Trips, and potholes you should
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Educate yourself
it’s also a lot of driving around looking for things to do
967
Passing someone on the road to see who was driving like a moron
968
“I just need to run into target quick”
She was never seen again
969
Stranger: “Yeah I’ll have a soda”
People from the Midwest: “Wtf did you just say?”
970
Gas prices starting to look like the cost of beef jerky
971
Midwest Wrapped:
1. 7,845 ope’s
2. 34,076 potholes hit
3. 5,872 “welp, alright’s”
4. 6,549 deer avoided
5. 1,542 “not so bad without the wind/humidity”
972
Roses are red
Snows got us pinned
Midwesterners get bread
Wouldn’t be bad w/o the wind
974
Nobody:
Midwesterners: I can smell a storm brewing
975
Things to love about the Midwest
- hard work ethic
- the common courtesy to hold the door for the person behind you
- puppy chow
- midwestern nice
- open roads
- steak ‘n’ shake
- we’re in the middle of everything
- small town traditions
- casey’s pizza
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody