901
Two main seasons of the Midwest
1. Winter
2. Construction
902
Fun Things to Do in the Midwest:
- fist fight mosquitos
- have a heat stroke
- get frost bite and hypothermia
- run from wasps
- get third degree sunburn
- run the heat and AC on the same day
904
Midwest nice is holding the door open uncomfortably long for the person following you into the building
905
The 4 types of midwest cold:
1. brisk cold w/ no wind. Perfect for running
2. Christmas cold, snowy, feels good (southerners can’t survive this)
3. Mercenary cold. Sharp. Windy. Dry. Will cut you. cracked lips
4. time warp cold. So cold everything stops even Midwest schools
906
i am an:
⚪man
⚪woman
🔘midwestern
seeking:
⚪men
⚪women
🔘more gravel road shortcuts to avoid the laughable amount of road construction
908
The Midwestern urge to drive with the windows down as soon as it’s above 40°
909
Why does every midwestern home have one of these?
911
Midwesterners only want one thing and it’s disgusting. 70 degrees without wind and humidity
912
Been in quarantine so long I bumped into my coffee table just so I could remember how to “ope, sorry”
913
Fun things to do in the Midwest:
-Admire road work
-hit suicidal deer
-Go to Walmart
-drive around for fun
-one finger wave at people
-Run through a field
-Experience all 4 seasons in one day
-Drink pop, not soda
-Say ope at least 12 times a day t.co/D8zgQGbjYe
914
People from the South: “High of 60 today? I’ll need my parka, gloves and thermal heater today.”
People in the Midwest when it’s below zero one day and 30 degrees the next: “honey, I’m taking the lawnmower out today.”
915
$4.25 a gallon just so you can wreck your car in a pothole
916
🎃🎃🎃 🍂 🕸 🍁
🎃 🍂🍂 🕸 🍁
🎃🎃 🍂🍂🍂 🕸 🍁
🎃 🍂 🍂 🕸 🍁
🎃 🍂 🍂 🕸🕸🕸🍁🍁
🍁
RT to make a Midwesterner happy
917
Living in the Midwest
me
📍
📏 (45 min drive)
📏
📏
📍
Your favorite restaurant
918
Midwest culture is planning refueling the car around the warmest days of the week
919
it’s march in the midwest and it’s going to be:
⚪️ raining
⚪️ snowing
🔘 both
because:
⚪️ midwest weather
⚪️ climate change
🔘 ᵗʰᵃᵗ’ˢ ˢʰᵒʷ ᵇⁱᶻᶻ ᵇᵃᵇʸ
920
Okay, what did ya’ll actually think it was?
RT- “OPE, there goes gravity”
Like- “OH, there goes gravity” twitter.com/midwestern_ope…
921
Goodnight to everyone except people that call pop “soda”
923
Please allow children to believe in Santa. You believe that when your left knee is sore a storm is coming and nobody is ruining that for you.
925
*temp gets above 35° in winter*
midwesterners: guess I don’t need my coat today
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody