626
Midwest Anthem:
Turn left
Detour now y’all
Road closed this time
Left lane closed too
Merrrrrrge to the right
Merrrrrge to the left
FREEZE
Everybody traffic jam
630
Few inches of snow and Midwesterners turn into different animals
631
October 1st:
Midwesterners: well stuff my pumpkin with a light bulb and take me to an apple orchard it’s Halloween 🎃
632
“we can’t have all 4 seasons in a week”
Midwest: hold my corn
633
In the Midwest it is customary to go through the garage or side door and leave the fancy front door for guests
634
Midwesterner 40 degree weather starter pack:
636
If you drank out of this as a kid you’re immune to the Coronavirus
637
In England they drive on the left side of the road. In the Midwest we drive on what’s left of the road
638
“WELP!”
1. A midwestern exclamation after a particularly good conversation but it really is time to get going and typically followed by “I ‘spose”
2. a Midwestern phrase when a person has no options
639
40° in February: I think I’ll crack a window
640
Friends saying goodbye in the Midwest:
*i should go*
**knee slap and sigh*
“Alrighty well I spose it’s time”
“Yep!”
“Take it easy alright?”
“You bet, will do, tell your folks I said hi”
“You too, watch out for deer”
*45 minutes later*
641
If you accidentally say you’re from a small town around midwesterners you’ll get into a competition for who had the smaller school and someone will inevitably bring up how they had “drive your tractor to school day”
642
Midwesterners when they hear you can save big money at Menards
644
The tension between a Midwesterner holding the door open and the one running to make sure the person isn’t holding it too long
645
Midwest Quarantine Starter Pack
- 35 bottles of ranch
- 33 cases of beer
- 12 different routes to “drive around”
- 10 cases of 7up or Vernors ginger ale (if infected)
- 1 deck of cards for eucher
646
No one:
Midwesterners: it’s like everyone forgets how to drive as soon as there’s a little bit of snow
647
On the 12th day of Christmas the Midwest gave to me
12 random seasons
11 unfixed potholes
10 walking tacos
9 lemme sneak past ya’s
8 runaway cattle
7 u betchas
6 games of corn hole
5 OPE SORRYS
4 winter storms
3 Welp, alright’s
2 one finger waves
And a 45 minute doorway goodbye
648
It’s officially the time of year where you can defrost your windshield in the morning, be in a swimsuit in the afternoon and shorts and hoodie at night.
Never fear: second summer is coming
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody