401
There’s all these tweets about midwesterners saying “ope.” What really needs to be talked about is the phrase “Welp” you use to express an unspoken need hidden by a desire not to inconvenience anyone after a particularly good conversation but it really is time to get going
403
A big part of being a midwesterner is pretending that a sunny 45 degrees 25 mph day is really nice out
404
Midwestern folk units of measurement:
Next door= 1-2 miles
Right up the road= 5-10 miles
Up North= 15-100 miles
A couple miles= 10-20 miles
Not too far= 20-50 minutes
A little ways= over an hour
A pretty good drive= 2 hours +
Drive down there= literally any direction
405
“Money doesn’t matter” - rich people
“Looks don’t matter” -attractive people
“It’s not the cold, it’s the wind that gets ya” - Midwesterners
407
Nothing says a midwesterner experience like driving to target with your windows down because it's 45 degrees & you didn't want to "waste" such a "beautiful day"
408
i am a:
⚪️ man
⚪️ woman
🔘 midwesterner
seeking:
⚪️ men
⚪️ women
🔘 more fridge space so I’ll probably use the garage in the meantime
410
“Hey siri how much snow will there be on Christmas”
The Midwest:
412
How seasons work in the Midwest:
Jan- cold
Feb- bitterly cold
March- pretend not to be cold
April- rainy cold
May- Ope, tornado szn
June- construction
July- mosquitos
Aug- humidity
Sept- tiny black bugs from hell
Oct- bonfires
Nov- winter preview
Dec- cold w/ decorations
413
*Midwesterners validating weather*
-20 out: “it wouldn’t be that cold without the wind”
99 degrees: “i’m only sweating because of the humidity”
20 degrees: “honestly if ya stand in the sun it’s not that bad”
40 degrees: driving with the windows down bc it’s finally “nice out”
414
Every Midwesterner has a childhood memory of the near death sledding experience
415
Roses are red
The Midwest is dope
Puppy chow, caramel rolls and ranch
Ope
416
Let’s get
🎃🎃
🎃
🎃
🎃
🎃🎃
🍂🍂
🍂 🍂
🍂🍂
🍂
🍂
👻👻
👻 👻
👻 👻
👻 👻
👻👻
🕷🕷
🕷 🕷
🕷 🕷
🕷 🕷
🕷🕷
🦇 🦇
🦇 🦇
🦇🦇
🦇 🦇
🦇 🦇
🕸 🕸
🕸🕸
🕸
🕸
🕸
417
There’s a lot of talk on midwesterners saying “ope” all the time.
What really needs to be talked about though is how we whisper “scuse me” so quietly when walking by someone we might as well say nothing
418
Living in the Midwest taught me that 1° with no wind is better than 30° with wind
419
Midwesterners when they flash headlights to warn for deer or police on the road coming up
421
There’s all these tweets about midwesterners saying “ope” all the time. What really needs to be talked about though is how we whisper “scuse me” so quietly when walking by someone we might as well say nothing.
422
How seasons work in the Midwest:
Jan - Cold
Feb - Bitterly Cold
Mar - Potholes from hell
Apr - Cold with Rain
May - 🌪
Jun - Mosquitoes
Jul - instant sweat
Aug - Surface of the sun
Sep - Tiny Black Bugs
Oct - Bonfires
Nov - Winter Preview
Dec - Cold, with decorations
423
It’s all fun and games until kids realize that zoom killed any chance of a good old fashioned snow day this year
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody