352
it’s fall in the midwest and it’s
⚪️ raining
⚪️ snowing
🔘 both
because:
⚪️ midwest weather
⚪️ climate change
🔘 ᵗʰᵃᵗ’ˢ ˢʰᵒʷ ᵇⁱᶻᶻ ᵇᵃᵇʸ
353
When driving past a field of cows on a road trip it is entirely acceptable to notify the entire car of their presence
“COWS”
354
“Name an extreme sport”
Driving with an ice covered windshield with less than 10% visibility
355
7 Up cures all illness in the eyes of Midwest mothers.
356
We’re in the prime “only walking to the car, car to the building so I don’t need a jacket” time of year
357
Midwesterner’s “I’m only walking from my car to the building so I don’t need a coat” is unmatched
358
Halloween in the Midwest as a kid:
Having a cool costume but you couldn’t fully show it off because you either had to have a jacket on over it
or you had to get two sizes too big so you could wear layers under it
360
It’s not the heat that gets ya, it’s the humidity
361
Midwest culture is saying
“Alright I spose’...” to signal you’re preparing to leave, and the other person responds with "Well, I guess I'll let you go.." Then someone lightly slaps their knee, u both get up get ready to go and stand and chat in the doorway for another 15 minutes
362
Nobody:
Midwesterners: When Eminem said “Ope there goes gravity” we really felt that
363
WHAT DO WE WANT?
__________
| shorts & |
| hoodie |
| weather |
|______|
(\__/) ||
(•ㅅ•) ||
/ づ
WHEN DO WE WANT IT?
| ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄|
| NOW |
|______|
(\__/) ||
(•ㅅ•) ||
/ づ
364
One does not simply make a list for Target. You go to the store and Target tells you what to buy.
366
Kansas Ohio
Minnesota North Dakota
Indiana South Dakota
🤝
🤝 Ope 🤝
🤝
Michigan Wisconsin
Nebraska Iowa
Missouri Illinois
367
Every time a Midwesterner says “ope” or “lemme just squeeze by ya,” a pot hole bursts forth through a road that’ll probably never be filled
368
*small town midwest introduction*
Kid 1: “I’m from a small town”
Kid 2: “OH YA, HOW MANY PEOPLE WERE IN YOUR GRADUATING CLASS? I HAD 20.”
369
Picture this. A storm has hit the area with lightning thunder and tornados. sirens are blaring. like a normal Midwesterner you grab your lawn chair cold beer and head for the roof. you look to your right. It’s bob. you look to your left. it’s gretchen. life is good.
371
nobody:
midwesterners:
this heat wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the humidity.
372
I am a
⚪️ Male
⚪️ Female
🔘 Midwesterner
Looking for
⚪️ bug spray
⚪️ Bonfire
🔘 a corn maze pumpkin patch
apple orchard and haunted
house
373
It’s ok to be white.
It’s ok to be black.
It’s ok to be asian.
It’s ok to be hispanic.
It’s ok to be female.
It’s ok to be male.
It’s ok to be YOU.
But it’s never ok to assume you got to the four way stop first. Wave your fellow midwesterners through
374
Me: it’s cold
Midwesterner with no coat: you think this is cold? Wow. I was born in the snow. I’m not wearing a coat and I’m still not cold. Midwesterners just don’t get cold easily because we’re genetically immune after generations of suffering.
375
Living in the Midwest: don’t need a Summer body if your state never knows what season it is 🙃