1351
Midwesterners: let’s drive around and look for something to do
Midwesterners at Christmas: let’s drive around and look at Christmas lights
1352
“Welcome to our historic downtown”
The downtown:
1355
It’s funny when Midwesterners say “just up the road” because it could mean a 5 min walk or 3 hours to the nearest city
1356
Midwest logic: It’s 40° and I’m only walking from my car to the building so I don’t need a coat
1357
Nobody:
Menards: save big money at Menards 🎶
1359
Every Midwest state has that other state they hate
1360
Please allow children to believe in Santa. You believe that when your left knee is sore a storm is coming and nobody is ruining that for you.
1361
“It’s kind of cold”
Midwesterners: cold? This is not cold. I’m wearing shorts and a hoodie today. I was born in the snow and use ice for a blanket.
1364
In the Midwest it is appropriate to scream and furiously rub your hands together in a cold car
1365
“Hey siri how much snow will there be on Christmas”
The Midwest:
1367
Christmas in the Midwest
Expectation Reality
1369
Midwest Gas Stations in a blizzard:
Pay inside or at the pump?
Car wash?
Do you want this receipt?
If I fell off tomorrow would you still love me?
If I wrote you a love letter would write back?
Are you made cause I’m asking you 21 questions?
1370
Welcome to the Midwest dress for anything
1371
On the 12th day of Christmas the Midwest gave to me
12 random seasons
11 unfixed potholes
10 walking tacos
9 lemme sneak past ya’s
8 runaway cattle
7 u betchas
6 games of corn hole
5 OPE SORRYS
4 winter storms
3 Welp, alright’s
2 one finger waves
And a 45 minute doorway goodbye
1372
Take a drink every time a Midwesterner says “it’s not so bad out today now that the wind has died down”
1373
BREAKING: midwesterners stuck on the front porch unable to wrap up their goodbyes before heading home from holiday gatherings
1374
More than a 70° difference from last Thursday to this Thursday in the Midwest and that sums up our entire existence twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody