1201
*holds door for 15 strangers at a restaurant*
1202
This is where every important conversation in the Midwest has happened
1203
Today has a special feel to it. You may observe the wild Midwesterner in its natural habitat wearing shorts and hoodie, car windows rolled down and tranquil demeanor allowing cars to go through first at 4 way stops and half smile head nods to strangers
1204
“We’ve already had false spring and second winter when is it going to be real spring?”
1206
It doesn’t get any more Midwest than this
1207
When a child is born in the Midwest they crawl out of a corn field towards the nearest Kwik Trip where they are to be baptized in a tornado and utter their first “Ope”
1209
Welcome to the Midwest:
- corn
- corn
- corn
- corn
- corn
- dollar general
- corn
- corn
1210
People that have the patience to make these are American treasures and should be cherished
1212
Welcome to the Midwest where you can experience 4 seasons in a day
1213
Midwesterners who leave without saying goodbye save an average of 3 weeks per year but feel 10x guiltier
1214
The first time The 8536th time
Seeing cows seeing cows
On the side of on the side of
the road the road
1215
When you’re 10 dangs, 25 that’s crazies and 6 I’ll let you go’s and they keep talking
1216
April has been ranked worst month of the year by 69% of midwesterners
1217
Now that free speech is allowed on here
NORMALIZE PUPPY CHOW FOR BREAKFAST
1218
Midwesterners toxic trait is thinking that it’s time to drink on the patio just because it’s above 40° and sunny
1219
In the Midwest you have to double check if it’s butter or leftovers
1220
Midwest billboards
“Jesus saves”
“Adult Store XXX”
“Casino”
“Dollar General next right”
“Cheese”
“Beer and tobacco”
“Visit our Historic Downtown”
1221
Midwestern Units of Measurement:
Next door = 500 ft.-3 miles
Just up the road = 5-10 miles
Up North= hand gesture north-ish
A couple minutes away = 10-20 miles
Not too far = 45 minutes
A lil’ ways = over an hour
Pretty good drive = 2 hours+
Drive down there = literally anywhere
1225
I trust the guy with the aching knee that can “smell storms coming” over my weather app
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody