1077
1082
“Are we getting a tornado or blizzard today?”
The Midwest: yes
1083
On any given Christmas in the Midwest you can have a foot of snow or 50° weather
1086
Therapist: how are you
Midwesterner: living the dream
Therapist: 🤦♂️
1087
Meanwhile in the Midwest
1090
Midwesterners really be like I’m only walking from the door to the car so I don’t need a coat
1091
3 absolute truths
Death
Taxes
Not so bad without the wind
1092
“I just need to run into target quick”
She was never seen again
1094
Target: exists
Midwesterners: Targét
1096
On the 12th day of Christmas the Midwest gave to me
12 random seasons
11 unfixed potholes
10 bottles of ranch
9 tornado sirens
8 runaway cattle
7 u betchas
6 games of corn hole
5 OPE SORRYS
4 big storms
3 Welp, alrights
2 one finger waves
and a 30 minute doorway goodbye
1097
Midwest meditation is slipping on the ice and just laying there for a bit