1026
“Ranch is disgusting” 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
1027
Nobody:
Midwesterners: that driveway is must suck to drive up in the winter
1028
Welcome to the Midwest
Winter is at 8am
Spring is at 11am
Summer is at 2pm
Fall is at 4pm
1029
As a Midwesterner, fall is the superior season. Shorts and hoodie weather, no humidity, leaves changing. It is a very spiritual time and we are thriving. living our best life if you will.
1030
“It can’t snow in October”
Midwest: hold my corn
1031
Nobody:
Midwesterners: better mow the lawn before winter is here
1036
You
Vs.
The guy she
tells you not to
worry about
1037
“it’s cold”
Midwesterner (no coat): you’re cold? Wait until February. We’ll eat icicles for breakfast and clear snow off our cars with bare hands. Midwesterners just don’t get cold easily, we’re genetically immune from generations of suffering. Minnesotans still live in igloos.
1038
When the main characters mention your hometown
1039
Speak midwestern 101
Welp = an exclamation before it’s time to go
No Yeah = Yes
Yeah no = No
I’ll let you know = They will not let you know
It’s all good no worries = are you kidding me with that crap
Geez Louise = peak anger statement
1040
“Money doesn’t matter” - rich people
“Looks don’t matter” -attractive people
“It’s not the cold, it’s the wind that gets ya” - Midwesterners
1041
Midwest dads:
gets bill at restaurant: "alright what’s the damage”
tightens strap on back of truck: “that’s not going anywhere”
flips over a piece of meat on the grill: “that’s money right there”
Kid is hungry: “hi hungry I’m dad”
answers the phone: “YELLO”
1042
*Midwesterner trying to ask someone for a favor*
Hey could you help me with this thing? Absolutely no pressure. Totally ok if you can’t. If you’d rather run me over with a car that’s cool. Ope, I’m sorry. Are you mad at me?
1044
The 8 layers to a Midwestern goodbye:
- about to leave warning (stand up)
- a "we've gotta go" statement
- hugs
- walking to the doorway
- one more conversation in the doorway
- more hugs
- continue talking while everyone's piling in the doorway
- placing hand on doorknob
1046
“Ope, scuse me” will get you out of any tough situation
1047
It’s officially the time of year where you can use the front porch as extra fridge space
1048
Is this love or is this the Midwest?
“Watch out for deer”
“Are you hungry”
“Tell her / him I say hi”
“Did you get this done”
“Make good choices”
“Call me when you get there so I know you made it”
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody