951
*sitting on death row*
“Alright what’s your last meal request”
Me:
953
Midwest brain:
*Don’t say it*
*Don’t say it*
*Don’t say it*
*Don’t say it*
*Don’t say it*
“It’s really not so bad today without the humidity”
954
13 seasons of the Midwest
Winter
Fool’s Spring
Second Winter
Spring of Deception
Polar Vortex
“It wouldn’t be so bad out without the wind”
Actual Spring
Pothole and construction season
Hell’s front porch
Mosquito Heaven
False Fall
Second summer
Actual Fall
957
“Tell your mom I say hi”
*Midwesterners preparing for the biggest lie of all time*
“Okay I will!”
958
Some of you didn’t have walls like this and it shows
959
Midwest culture is skipping the town firework show for the neighbor who just bought $10k worth of mortars
960
A beautiful unwritten rule in the Midwest is when the speed limit says 65 and everybody says “if we all go 80 they can’t pull us over”
961
Passing someone on the road to see who was driving like a moron
962
⚠️ Trigger warning ⚠️
This is what happens when you don’t tap the straps and say “that’s not going anywhere”
963
A sacred time of the year in the Midwest
964
Learn Midwestern 101:
“We might be there” - not coming
“I’ll let you know” - not coming
“Hmm not sure yet” - very sure about not coming
“I’ll see if we can make it work” - it will not and not coming
“I’ll think about it” - nothing to think about and not coming
965
*roads full of potholes*
“I wish they would actually fix the roads around here”
*construction crews working on the roads*
“Sheesh do they really need to fix all the roads at once?!”
968
People from small towns will get competitive with each other like
“I graduated with six people”
“Yeah well I grew up without running water”
970
Giving the hometown tour:
“This used to be a video store”
“Here’s our 3rd Kwik Trip”
“That’s the new Culvers”
“That also used to be a video store”
971
Driving through the Midwest
Nothing
Corn
God is Real
Adult XXX Store
Corn
Cracker Barrel Next right
Nothing
972
Everyone loves kindness until it’s someone waving you through a four way stop when they clearly got there first
973
“Hey, want to eat six logs of string cheese?”
“No I’m good”
“We’ll cover them in breading and then fry them”
974
Stop 👏 slowing 👏 down 👏 for 👏 people 👏 entering 👏 the 👏 freeway 👏
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody