901
The Red Dots indicate cities where there are more bars than grocery stores and I have to say I’m proud of half of the Midwest
902
BREAKING: the CDC just announced that fully vaccinated individuals in the Midwest are allowed to drive around look for something to do and end up at their favorite gas station
903
Midwest Red Flags:
1. Doesn’t put plate face down in trash with unfinished food
2. Doesn’t wave people through 4-way stops
3. Doesn’t “Ope, sorry”
4. Thinks that any trip over 10 hours is too far too drive
904
one good weather weekend and all of a sudden you’re a good person again
905
Kansas Ohio
Minnesota North Dakota
Indiana South Dakota
🤝
🤝 Tell your folks I say hi 🤝
🤝
Michigan Wisconsin
Nebraska Iowa
Missouri Illinois
906
“All rise for the singing of our national anthem”
Midwest: SAVE BIG MONEY AT MENARDS
907
You ever just “we needed this” after a good rainstorm?
908
We are currently in the season of “paradise”. It’s warm, no snow, few bugs and right before hot and humid. The season lasts one week so don’t waste it.
909
Nobody:
Midwesterner: well hopefully tonight’s frost advisory kills some of the bugs
910
Midwesterners are like “take highway 5 north 15 miles then exit onto county road T15, take the first left past the church and you’re there when you see Dave’s shed with half the paint chipped off on the north side”
like no I’ll just use Google maps Lewis & Clark but thanks
911
*Midwesterner hits a curb*
“Ope”
*hits a pothole*
“Jeez Louise.”
*hits a second pothole*
“I’m so sorry car”
912
*sandwich with everything you asked not to be on it*
Waitress: how is everything?
Midwesterner: Great!
913
Midwest dads:
gets bill at restaurant: "what’s the damage”
tightens strap on back of truck: “that’s not going anywhere”
flips over a piece of meat on the grill: “oh yeah that’s money right there”
asked what time it is: “time for you to get a watch”
answers the phone: “YELLO”
914
Midwesterners: imagine the bug bites twitter.com/CHERRYH3AVEN/s…
915
sick of people thinking the midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forget it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather and deer that jump in front of your car
916
Old beer sign: exists
Midwesterners: this is a decoration I have to have in my house
918
The CDC said my mom will take us if yours will pick us up
919
*tornado rolls in*
Southerners: EVERYBODY DOWN STAIRS NOW
Midwesterners: “billy grab your camera and a net we’ve got a Nader to catch”
920
i am a:
⚪️ man
⚪️ woman
🔘 midwesterner
seeking:
⚪️ men
⚪️ women
🔘 a thunderstorm and tornado for entertainment
921
Midwesterner: sorry for bothering you
Surgeon: you seriously shouldnt be awake for this
922
(•_•)
<) )╯Ope
/ \
\(•_•)
( (> lemme just
/ \
(•_•)
<) )> squeeze past you and grab
/ \ the tater tot casserole out of
the oven
923
Saying goodbye in the Midwest
_______|
|
Knee slap ———> “Welp, i spose”
|
Hugs < ————Talk in the doorway
|
Walking to the car conversation
|
More hugs
924
People always make fun of midwesterners for not taking cover during a tornado when it’s literally called “tornado watch”
925
Midwest parents love to drive their kids 14 hours on vacation instead of fly just to walk faster than them everywhere and make fun of them for sleeping in
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody