726
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone except the people that didn’t put their plate face down in the trash when there was food left
727
What is joe biden’s plan to fix the potholes?
728
If you say “welp, I spose it’s that time” in a mirror three times, a midwesterner will appear and ask you to play cornhole
729
Employer: what is your greatest weakness?
Midwesterner: I have a habit of apologizing to inanimate objects after bumping into them
731
Can’t imagine a world where this is cold
732
The “junk drawer” is a staple in every Midwest home
733
Me after holding the door for 15 strangers at the store
734
Midwesterner’s “I’m only walking from my car to the building so I don’t need a coat” is unmatched
736
┏┓
┃┃╱╲ In this
┃╱╱╲╲ house
╱╱╭╮╲╲ we support
▔▏┗┛▕▔ & appreciate
╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲
╱ 50 degree days
in December ____ ╲
╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲
▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔
737
Does she love you or is she just from Midwest?
“Watch out for deer”
“Tell your folks I say hi”
“Jeet yet?”
738
You’re in her DM’s midwesterners are brushing the snow off her car you are not the same
739
It’s “you can put the extra drinks out on the porch” season
740
We call this “Midwest Meditation” twitter.com/CaucasianJames…
741
*temp gets above 35° in winter*
midwesterners: guess I don’t need my coat today
742
Congress announced the next round of stimulus will likely be a giant bottle of ranch and midwesterners are ecstatic
743
Nobody:
Midwesterners: That pothole sounded expensive
744
Being from the Midwest is admiring a house and then saying “but imagine that driveway in the winter”
745
Welcome to the Midwest where you will experience 4 seasons in 4 hours
746
Southern hospitality and Midwest nice are the same except the Midwesterner has been trying to leave for 45 minutes and is too polite to say anything
747
On the 12th day of Christmas the Midwest gave to me
12 random seasons
11 unfixed potholes
10 bottles of ranch
9 tornado sirens
8 runaway cattle
7 u betchas
6 games of corn hole
5 OPE SORRYS
4 big storms
3 Welp, alrights
2 one finger waves
and a 30 minute doorway goodbye
749
7 stages of midwestern love
1. “Watch out for deer”
2. “I’ll start your car for you”
3. “Jeet yet?”
4. “I’m bringing you Culvers”
5. “You remind of a lot of Billy”
6. “I’ll make you a plate to take some home”
7. “Call me when you get there so I know you made it”
750
A child was baptized in the church of the Midwest earlier today
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody