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Midwest snow removal guide
>2 in : leaf blower
2-6 in : send kids to shovel
6-8 in : dad goes out to help
8-12 in : snow blower
<12 in : the neighbor with the truck and plow saves the whole street twitter.com/midwestern_ope…
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You gotta love the Midwest polite but slightly aggressive “go ahead” “no you go ahead” exchanges
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Living in the Midwest
me
📍
📏 (45 min drive)
📏
📏
📍
Favorite restaurant
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Midwest Dad:
stubborn
grills a mean burger
has a nickname for everyone
checks everyone’s oil at least twice
*ties something down*
**slaps twice**
“that’s not going anywhere”
530
someone: omg do you smell the air??
Texans: ??
Californians: ...
Floridians: 🤪
midwesterners: yep i can feel it in my joints, there’s a blizzard coming in a day or so y’all better get ready
531
Kansas Ohio
Minnesota North Dakota
Indiana South Dakota
🤝
🤝 45 min goodbye 🤝
🤝
Michigan Wisconsin
Nebraska Iowa
Missouri Illinois
532
New York: skyscrapers!
LA: California girls 🤪
South: everything is bigger here
Midwest: ....... THUNDERSNOW
533
Wrong
“I like your coat”
“Thank you!”
Right
“I like your coat”
“Thank you I got it at a significant discount!”
534
Midwesterners be like
⊂_ヽ
＼＼Ope ‘scuse me
＼( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> ⌒ヽ
/ へ＼
/ / ＼＼gonna sneak
ﾚ ノ ヽ_つ
/ /
/ /|
( (ヽ
| |、＼past ya
| 丿 ＼ ⌒)
| | ) /
ノ ) Lﾉ
and grab a chicken sandwich from Kwik Trip
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i am a:
⚪️ man
⚪️ woman
🔘 midwesterner
seeking:
⚪️ men
⚪️ women
🔘 a blizzard and a snow day
536
“What’s it like living in the Midwest?”
Life is one big ope
538
NORMALIZE RANCH ON PIZZA NORMALIZE RANCH ON PIZZA NORMALIZE RANCH ON PIZZA NORMALIZE RANCH ON PIZZA NORMALIZE RANCH ON PIZZA NORMALIZE RANCH ON PIZZA NORMALIZE RANCH ON PIZZA NORMALIZE RANCH ON PIZZA NORMALIZE RANCH ON PIZZA NORMALIZE RANCH ON PIZZA NORMALIZE RANCH ON PIZZA
539
“Name an extreme sport”
Driving with an ice covered windshield with less than 10% visibility
540
Yeah culvers is good but have you ever successfully avoided all the potholes on your daily commute?
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therapist: what do we say when someone is mean to us?
midwesterners: no worries, seriously not a problem its my bad
therapist: no
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Key to any successful midwestern relationship:
1. “Ope, sorry!” When you’re wrong
2. “Ope, sorry!” When you’re right
3. Drive an extra 20 minutes for her favorite fast food
4. Start her car in the cold
5. Take her to your favorite spot to star gaze
6. 30 pack of busch light
543
“Where are you from?”
*midwestern state*
“So do you just drive around eating cheese curds on gravel roads surrounded by corn and cows?”
me: absolutely
544
Most Popular Super Bowl Food in the Midwest
8. Seven layer dip
7. Rotel + hamburger Queso
6. Lil smokies
5. Meatballs (toothpick)
4. Nachos
3. Chicken wings
2. Pizza
1. Buffalo chicken dip
#NFLTwitter
545
Midwesterners when someone asks if you want more buffalo chicken dip
546
I hate earthquakes and hurricanes. As a quality Midwesterner I prefer Mother Natures punishment in the form of blizzards and tornados
547
Nobody:
Midwesterners: can’t wait for tornado watching season
548
If you look hard enough you can smell this picture twitter.com/midwestern_ope…
549
four way stop in the Midwest twitter.com/thedopelectric…
550
Don't do it
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Don't do it
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Don't do it
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Ope just gonna SNEAK past ya and grab that
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody