501
the Midwest test:
When you hit it a pothole so hard you apologize to you car ✅
You put your paper plate upside down in the trash so you don’t offend whoever made the stuff you didn’t eat ✅
15 “opes” a day ✅
You have a grocery bag full of grocery bags in your house ✅
502
Rt if you hide a Christmas pickle ornament on the tree
Trying to prove a point
503
*how to drive after 2 inches of snow*
South: pretend like you’re driving grandma to church and she’s holding a full pot of gravy with a platter of biscuits and sweet tea in the back seat.
Midwest: HOLD ON TIGHT GRAMMA WE’RE DRIFTING THIS 4-WAY!
504
Looking at someone’s driveway thinking “that’s gotta be tough to get up in the winter”
505
driving in the midwest:
🌽🌽🌽| || ⚫ |🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽| 🚘 || |🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽| 🦌 || |🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽| ⚫ || |🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽| || 🚧|🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽| 🚜|| |🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽| 🕳️|| 🦌|🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽| || |🌽🌽🌽
506
as a midwesterner, 40 degrees in mid
December is shorts and hoodie weather which is a very spiritual time for us. We are thriving, living our best life, if you will
507
Midwest dad sayings:
-see a mattress on the highway: “Anyone need a mattress?”
-tightens strap on back of truck: “That’s not going anywhere”
-“Are you air conditioning the whole neighborhood?"
-gets bill at restaurant: looks at youngest child "Hope you brought your wallet"
508
Nobody:
Midwesterners when the temperature is above 40°:
509
*Midwesterners validating weather*
-20: “wouldn’t be that cold without the wind”
99 degrees: “i’m only sweating because of the humidity”
20 degrees: “honestly if ya stand in the sun it’s not that bad”
47° in the Spring: driving with the windows down bc it’s finally “nice out”
510
Midwest dad quotes:
flips over a piece of meat on the grill: “oh yeah that’s money right there”
asked what time it is: “time for you to get a watch”
when standing in their way : “you make a better door than a window”
answers the phone: “YELLO” twitter.com/midwestern_ope…
511
There’s all these tweets about midwesterners saying “ope.” What really needs to be talked about is the phrase “Welp” you use to express an unspoken need hidden by a desire not to inconvenience anyone after a particularly good conversation but it really is time to get going
513
You're not really from the Midwest if you compliment a midwesterner on a personal possession and they don’t respond by explaining that they acquired said item at a significant discount.
514
No one:
Midwesterners when it’s above 40 out:
515
7 stages of midwestern love
1. “Watch out for deer”
2. “I’ll start your car for you”
3. “Jeet yet?”
4. “I’m bringing you Steak ‘n Shake”
5. “You remind of a lot like Billy”
6. “I’ll make you a plate to take some home”
7. “Call me when you get there so I know you made it”
516
In the Midwest we don’t ask “Did you eat?” We ask “jeetyet ?
"Naw"
"Jyawantoo?"
we also pronounce it "bolth" &
grandma says: “warsh” twitter.com/midwestern_ope…
517
That no matter how hard you try, you physically can’t stop yourself from slipping out an “ope” after bumping into someone
518
midwesterners on the first wednesday of the month
520
Once again the Midwest proving why it’s the best region in the world
Merry Christmas 🎁 twitter.com/uiowa/status/1…
521
Looking at a big hill and thinking “that’d be fun to sled down in the winter”
522
“What’s it like driving in the Midwest?”
523
Chicken tenders Wings
Jalapeño poppers Celery
🤝
🤝 Ranch 🤝
🤝
Pizza Carrots
Salad Wraps
524
Kids these days get a push alert to let them know school is cancelled. They’ll never know the thrill/terror of watching the list of schools scroll through on the local news.
525
Midwest nice is that one guy that snow blows the entire block after a huge snow storm @Ariens
#AriensHero
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody