451
Me: it’s cold
Midwesterner with no coat: you think this is cold? Wow. I was born in the snow. I’m not wearing a coat and I’m still not cold. Midwesterners just don’t get cold easily because we’re genetically immune after generations of suffering.
452
Kansas Ohio
Minnesota North Dakota
Indiana South Dakota
🤝
🤝 Ope 🤝
🤝
Michigan Wisconsin
Nebraska Iowa
Missouri Illinois
453
This is how midwesterners fake shelter during a tornado
454
In this life you either ope or get oped
455
Midwesterners ⚠️
If you’ve heard a friend or a loved one use “oh it’s going” recently send help!
It’s a desperate cry for help
456
Midwest dads:
gets bill at restaurant: "what’s the damage”
tightens strap on back of truck: “that’s not going anywhere”
flips over a piece of meat on the grill: “oh yeah that’s money right there”
answers the phone: “YELLO”midwestvseverybody.com/products/ope-h…
457
Midwest dads on vacation:
1. Wake up at 6 AM for no reason
2. Puts address in GPS, uses route he thinks is quicker than route that is given.
3. Try to make people feel bad for sleeping in
4. Always walking 30 feet ahead of everyone else twitter.com/midwestern_ope…
458
welcome to the Midwest:
- Winter is at 5am
- Spring starts at 8am
- Winter hits again at noon
- Summer is at 2pm
- Fall starts around 5:30ish
Dress accordingly
459
Halloween in the Midwest as a kid:
Having a cool costume but you couldn’t fully show it off because you either had to have a jacket on over it
or you had to get two sizes too big so you could wear layers under it
461
There’s all these tweets about midwesterners saying “ope” all the time. What really needs to be talked about though is how we whisper “scuse me” so quietly when walking by someone we might as well say nothing
462
Midwestern folk units of measurement:
Next door= 1-2 miles
Right up the road= 5-10 miles
Up North= 15-100 miles
A couple miles= 10-20 miles
Not too far= 20-50 minutes
A little ways= over an hour
A pretty good drive= 2 hours +
Drive down there= literally any direction
463
When a Midwesterner says “the other day” it could mean 30 minutes or 30 years ago
464
Official Midwest Glossary:
“Ope” = excuse me I’m sorry
“You’re fine no worries” = I don’t want you to worry about me that would be an inconvenience to you
“Alright well ” = don’t know how else to leave but its time
Yeah no yeah = I’m sorry, but unfortunately the answer is yes
465
Ope, sorry to bother but my count there are 18: winter, wring, sprinter, spring, construction, summing, summer, sautumn, aummer, autumn, aunter, waunter, wummer, aunter, spouting, auting, sprummter, winumming twitter.com/mariadikcis/st…
466
WHAT DO WE WANT?
__________________
| |
| spring. |
|＿＿＿＿＿＿___|
(\__/) ||
(•ㅅ•) ||
/ づ
WHEN DO WE WANT IT?
|￣￣￣￣￣￣|
| NOW |
|＿＿＿＿＿＿|
(\__/) ||
(•ㅅ•) ||
/ づ
467
“WELP!”
1. A midwestern exclamation after a particularly good conversation but it really is time to get going
2. a Midwestern phrase when a person has no options
468
45 degrees in spring vs 45 degrees in fall
469
Midwestern moms would like to remind everyone that 7up is the cure as cold season comes upon us
470
This is the Midwest twitter.com/ShaneHuss/stat…
471
How to know if a Midwesterner loves you:
- “I’ll start your car for you”
- “watch out for deer”
- “I’m bringing you culvers”
472
it’s fall in the midwest and it’s
⚪️ raining
⚪️ snowing
🔘 both
because:
⚪️ midwest weather
⚪️ climate change
🔘 ᵗʰᵃᵗ’ˢ ˢʰᵒʷ ᵇⁱᶻᶻ ᵇᵃᵇʸ
473
Talent is midwesterners ability to drive miles to their destination with a completely frosted windshield
474
“We can’t have a blizzard in November”
Midwest: hold my corn
475
Coworker: “how are you”
midwesterners: “wouldn’t be bad without the wind”
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody