401
The Midwest has 13 seasons:
Winter
Fool’s Spring
Second Winter
Spring of Deception
Polar Vortex
“It wouldn’t be so bad out without the wind”
Actual Spring
Pothole season
Hell’s front porch
False Fall
Second summer
Mosquito Heaven
Actual Fall
402
Fun things to do in the Midwest:
-Admire road work
-hit suicidal deer
-Go to Walmart
-drive around for fun
-one finger wave at people
-Run through a field
-Experience all 4 seasons in one day
-Drink pop, not soda
-Say ope at least 12 times a day t.co/D8zgQGbjYe
403
WHAT DO WE WANT?
__________________
| shorts &
| hoodie weather
|
|＿＿＿＿＿＿___
(\__/) ||
(•ㅅ•) ||
/ づ
WHEN DO WE WANT IT?
|￣￣￣￣￣￣|
| NOW |
|＿＿＿＿＿＿|
(\__/) ||
(•ㅅ•) ||
/ づ
405
top 4 favorite things midwesterners love to do for fun
4. apologize to everything
3. go to Walmart and walk around
2. driving around bc you’re bored
1. sitting out in your screened-in porch watching the storm roll in
406
nobody:
midwesterners:
this heat wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the humidity.
407
Can you really call yourself a midwesterner if you don’t understand the struggle of hitting a pot hole so hard that you apologize to your car out loud?
408
Nobody appreciates a 70 degree day with no humidity in August more than people that live in the Midwest. People don’t actually sweat as soon as they step out the door
410
Top reasons for traffic in the Midwest:
3. Construction
2. Potholes
1. Construction workers who don't fix
potholes
411
Small town midwesterners be like “let’s drive around”
412
sick of people thinking the midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields but they forget it’s also a lot of slowed traffic from road construction and suicidal deer
413
This Tweet from @midwestern_ope has been withheld in response to a report from the copyright holder. Learn more.
414
Welcome to the Midwest:
Winter is at 5 am
Spring starts at 10 am
Road work is from 12am-11:59pm
Summer is at 2 pm
False Fall begins at 3pm
And actual fall starts around 4:30ish
Dress accordingly
415
*Midwesterner when it’s 100 degrees out*
Their brain:
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Them:
it’s hot but it wouldn’t be that bad without the humidity
416
*Midwesterners validating weather*
-20 out: “it wouldn’t be that cold without the wind”
99 degrees: “i’m only sweating because of the humidity”
20 degrees: “honestly if ya stand in the sun it’s not that bad”
47 degrees: driving with the windows down bc it’s finally “nice out”
417
People in the Midwest when they hear a tornado siren and it’s not the first Tuesday/Wednesday of the month:
418
Say you’re from a small town to someone else also from a small town & it turns into some weird competition like:
“How many kids were in ur graduating class?”
“private schools don’t count!”
“Oh yah... BUT did you have bring your tractor to school day?!”
“What’s a stoplight?”
419
midwest nice is putting your paper plate upside down in the trash so you don’t offend whoever made the stuff you didn’t eat
420
Midwest culture is hearing the tornado sirens going off, checking the news station, and still not going into a basement or shelter area until you hear a tornado knocking on your door asking politely if it can wreck your home.
421
Midwesterner trying to ask someone for a favor: Hey could you help me with this thing? Absolutely no pressure though. Totally ok if you can’t. If you’d rather run me over with a car that’s cool. Ope, I’m sorry. Are you mad at me?
422
Midwest dads:
gets bill at restaurant: "what’s the damage”
tightens strap on back of truck: “that’s not going anywhere”
flips over a piece of meat on the grill: “oh yeah that’s money right there”
asked what time it is: “time for you to get a watch”
answers the phone: “YELLO”
423
Midwest Dad Thread: *vacation to do list*
1. Wake up at 6 AM for no reason
2. Yell at the gps
3. Try to make people feel bad for sleeping in
4. Google search history facts of the area
5. Always walking 30 feet ahead of everyone else
424
“Tornado warning, please take shelter immediately”
midwestern dad:
425
The 8 layers to a Midwestern goodbye:
- about to leave warning (stand up)
- a "we've gotta go" statement
- hugs
- walking to the doorway
- one more conversation in the doorway
- more hugs
- continue talking while everyone's piling in the doorway
- placing hand on doorknob
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody