351
Picture this. A storm has hit the area with lightning thunder and tornados. sirens are blaring. like a normal Midwesterner you grab your lawn chair cold beer and head for the roof. you look to your right. It’s bob. you look to your left. it’s gretchen. life is good.
353
Tornado warnings in the Midwest be like
354
Could never imagine living in a world where you don’t one finger wave at your neighbors on the road
356
Midwesterners be like:
Ope
| 👀 |
\ /
____| |_____
/ ✊__/
\_✊
lemme
| 👀 |
\ /
____| |_____
/__✊ \
👋_/
sneak past ya
| 🕶 |
\ 👅 /
____| |_____
/ ✊__/
\_✊
& grab some Casey’s pizza 🍕
359
The 8 levels of midwestern anger
8. “Woah woah woah”
7. “Hold your horses”
6. “Jeez Louise”
5. “For Heaven’s sake””
4. “If I had a nickel for every time”
3. “Well, now wait a minute”
2. “For Pete’s sake”
1. “Listen here pal”
360
“What’s it like playing sports in the Midwest?”
midwesterners: twitter.com/alexishumphr3y…
361
I am a
⚪️ Male
⚪️ Female
🔘 Midwesterner
Looking for
⚪️ bug spray
⚪️ Bonfire
🔘 roads without 1,000 potholes
that destroy my car
362
Let’s clear up some things:
1. It’s cornhole not bags
2. It’s pop not soda
3. It’s walking taco not taco in a bag
363
Let’s clear some things up:
1. It’s cornhole not bags
2. It’s pop not soda
3. It’s walking taco not taco in a bag
4. Casey’s > Kum n Go
5. Ope is a lifestyle
6. Ranch is a primary food group
7. And these are called freezies not popsicles
364
Driving in the Midwest:
-road construction
-pothole
-pothole
-pothole
-tractor
-deer
-train
-corn
REPEAT
366
Living in the Midwest: don’t need a Summer body if your state never knows what season it is 🙃
367
Midwest language be like:
No Yeah = Yes
Yeah no = No
Yeah no for sure = Definitely
No yeah no = Oh no, you’re fine
Yeah no yeah = I’m sorry, but unfortunately, the answer is yes
368
Imagine living in a place that doesn’t “ope”
Weird
369
Midwestern mom’s
“Watch out for deer”
“Are you hungry”
“Tell her / him I say hi”
“Did you get this done”
“Make good choices”
“Call me when you get there so I know you made it”
370
nobody: *tornado sirens*
midwesterners: “it’s tuesday my people"
371
“Tornado warning take shelter immediately”
Midwesterners:
372
Midwesterners validating summer weather “it’s hot but it wouldn’t be that bad without the humidity”
373
I just took a DNA test
Turns out
Im 100%
Ranch dressing
374
Why there’s a billion potholes still out there wrecking our cars twitter.com/Cfoldatrackste…
375
PSA ⚠️
STOP TRYING TO TOUCH THE TORNADOS
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody