101
“I’m not coming” Midwestern translation:
103
Things in Midwestern homes that just make sense
1. Beer fridge
2. Junk drawer
3. Lawn chairs in the garage
4. Plastic bag full of plastic bags
5. Storage on top of the fridge
104
Midwest Date Idea: drive around for a little bit and end up at the gas station
106
Midwesterner 40 degree weather starter pack:
107
*Midwesterners validating weather*
-20 out: “it wouldn’t be that cold without the wind”
99 degrees: “i’m only sweating because of the humidity”
20 degrees: “honestly if ya stand in the sun it’s not that bad”
40 degrees: driving with the windows down bc it’s finally “nice out”
108
Midwesterner slang for a 1/10 review:
“I didn't mind it”
“Not too bad at all”
“Did the trick”
“Yeah, pretty good”
“Better than expected”
“Fine overall”
“Decent”
“I’ve seen worse”
“It was alright”
“No real complaints”
“I ate most of it”
“Yep, okay”
111
Speak Midwestern 101
No yeah = yes
Yeah no = no
Yeah no for sure = definitely yes 100%
Yeah no yeah = unfortunately the answer is yes
No yeah no = oh no, you’ve got nothing to worry about
113
The tension between a Midwesterner holding the door open and the one running to make sure the person isn’t holding it too long
114
When a Midwesterner says “the other day” it could mean 3 days ago or 2003
116
Midwest culture is driving 45 minutes to your favorite restaurant on special occasions
117
It’s actually not that cold without the wind
119
Midwesterners Football
🤝
Buffalo chicken dip
120
Every time I’m upset about midwest weather I think “at least I’m not in Antarctica” and then February hits. and we still don’t have penguins
121
David Attenborough: One of the most dangerous places in the world, the midwesterners icy front steps
124
A real conversation between midwesterners:
“Ope, scuse me”
“Oh sorry about that”
“Nope my bad, you’re fine no worries”
125
Midwest culture is planning car washes and filling up on gas around the warmest days of the week
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody