51
The temperature be dropping from 50 to 20 like it saw a state trooper
54
Goodnight to everyone except people that call pop “soda”
56
Hardest jobs in the universe:
1. Brain surgeon
2. Aerospace engineer
3. Teaching someone to play euchre
58
If living in the Midwest in March has taught you anything it should be that if today is nice prepare for winter tomorrow
62
March in the Midwest
50° ☀️ “Snow on Thursday”
63
Shorts and hoodie weather time of the year. If you see a Midwesterner smiling and enjoying themselves, leave them be. This is a spiritual time for us.
65
People you can’t trust:
1. Those who sleep with their socks on
2. Those who enter through the front door of a midwesterner’s home, you must use the garage
67
Midwestern folk units of measurement:
Next door= 1-2 miles
Right up the road= 5-10 miles
Up North= 15-100 miles
A couple miles= 10-20 miles
Not too far= 20-50 minutes
A little ways= over an hour
A pretty good drive= 2 hours +
Drive down there= literally any direction
68
that feeling of seeing your school name come across the screen is an all time high
69
seasons of the Midwest
Jan - Bitterly Cold
Feb - Still Cold
Mar - Potholes
Apr - Ope its snowing again
May - Storms
Jun - Mosquitoes
Jul - Walk out & sweat instantly
Aug - Surface of the sun
Sep - Tiny Black Bugs
Oct - Bonfires
Nov - Winter Preview
Dec - Cold with decorations
70
how to tell if a Midwesterner is fighting for their life 101:
“all good don’t worry about it” *there are plenty of worries*
"Livin' the dream!" *this is a desperate cry for help*
“hanging in there” they are literally hanging on by the smallest strand of thread in existence*
71
Midwesterners can’t help themselves but say the following at restaurants:
- (when the line is getting long behind them) “"we got here just in time!"
- (when getting the check) “Alright, what’s the damage?”
- (coming out of the bathroom) “You ready to rock and roll?”
72
Coolest lightning show caught on camera (probably)
73
8 layers to a Midwest goodbye:
- slaps hand on knees warning
- a "we've gotta go" statement
- hugs
- walking to the doorway
- one more conversation in the doorway
- more hugs
- talking while everyone's piling in the doorway
- placing hand on doorknob
74
Midwest culture is saying “it feels so nice out” when the temperature is in the mid 30’s
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody