1101
Say you’re from a small town to someone else also from a small town & it turns into some weird competition like:
“How many kids were in ur graduating class?”
“private schools don’t count!”
“Oh yah... BUT did you have bring your tractor to school day?!”
“What’s a stoplight?”
1102
People in the Midwest when they hear a tornado siren and it’s not the first Tuesday/Wednesday of the month:
1103
*Midwesterners validating weather*
-20 out: “it wouldn’t be that cold without the wind”
99 degrees: “i’m only sweating because of the humidity”
20 degrees: “honestly if ya stand in the sun it’s not that bad”
47 degrees: driving with the windows down bc it’s finally “nice out”
1104
*Midwesterner when it’s 100 degrees out*
Their brain:
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Them:
it’s hot but it wouldn’t be that bad without the humidity
1105
Welcome to the Midwest:
Winter is at 5 am
Spring starts at 10 am
Road work is from 12am-11:59pm
Summer is at 2 pm
False Fall begins at 3pm
And actual fall starts around 4:30ish
Dress accordingly
1106
This Tweet from @midwestern_ope has been withheld in response to a report from the copyright holder. Learn more.
1107
sick of people thinking the midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields but they forget it’s also a lot of slowed traffic from road construction and suicidal deer
1108
Small town midwesterners be like “let’s drive around”
1109
Top reasons for traffic in the Midwest:
3. Construction
2. Potholes
1. Construction workers who don't fix
potholes
1111
Nobody appreciates a 70 degree day with no humidity in August more than people that live in the Midwest. People don’t actually sweat as soon as they step out the door
1112
Can you really call yourself a midwesterner if you don’t understand the struggle of hitting a pot hole so hard that you apologize to your car out loud?
1113
nobody:
midwesterners:
this heat wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the humidity.
1114
top 4 favorite things midwesterners love to do for fun
4. apologize to everything
3. go to Walmart and walk around
2. driving around bc you’re bored
1. sitting out in your screened-in porch watching the storm roll in
1116
WHAT DO WE WANT?
__________________
| shorts &
| hoodie weather
|
|＿＿＿＿＿＿___
(\__/) ||
(•ㅅ•) ||
/ づ
WHEN DO WE WANT IT?
|￣￣￣￣￣￣|
| NOW |
|＿＿＿＿＿＿|
(\__/) ||
(•ㅅ•) ||
/ づ
1117
Fun things to do in the Midwest:
-Admire road work
-hit suicidal deer
-Go to Walmart
-drive around for fun
-one finger wave at people
-Run through a field
-Experience all 4 seasons in one day
-Drink pop, not soda
-Say ope at least 12 times a day t.co/D8zgQGbjYe
1118
The Midwest has 13 seasons:
Winter
Fool’s Spring
Second Winter
Spring of Deception
Polar Vortex
“It wouldn’t be so bad out without the wind”
Actual Spring
Pothole season
Hell’s front porch
False Fall
Second summer
Mosquito Heaven
Actual Fall
1119
*Midwest dad at a restaurant who just paid his bill*
His Brain:
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Dad:
"You guys ready to rock and roll?"
1120
Driving in the Midwest 😂
(credit: charlie berens)
1121
I’m a:
⚪️Man
⚪️Woman
🔘Midwesterner
Looking to:
⚪️Corn
⚪️Fix potholes
🔘Ope, just squeeze right past you real quick & grab that ranch dressing
1123
I don’t care how old you get when you drive past a field with cows it’s mandatory to announce their presence “COWS”
1125
Midwest culture is saying
“Alright I spose’...” to signal you’re preparing to leave, and the other person responds with "Well, I guess I'll let you go.." Then someone lightly slaps their knee, u both get up get ready to go and stand and chat in the doorway for another 15 minutes
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody