1051
45 degrees in spring vs 45 degrees in fall
1052
“WELP!”
1. A midwestern exclamation after a particularly good conversation but it really is time to get going
2. a Midwestern phrase when a person has no options
1053
WHAT DO WE WANT?
__________________
| |
| spring. |
|＿＿＿＿＿＿___|
(\__/) ||
(•ㅅ•) ||
/ づ
WHEN DO WE WANT IT?
|￣￣￣￣￣￣|
| NOW |
|＿＿＿＿＿＿|
(\__/) ||
(•ㅅ•) ||
/ づ
1054
Ope, sorry to bother but my count there are 18: winter, wring, sprinter, spring, construction, summing, summer, sautumn, aummer, autumn, aunter, waunter, wummer, aunter, spouting, auting, sprummter, winumming twitter.com/mariadikcis/st…
1055
Official Midwest Glossary:
“Ope” = excuse me I’m sorry
“You’re fine no worries” = I don’t want you to worry about me that would be an inconvenience to you
“Alright well ” = don’t know how else to leave but its time
Yeah no yeah = I’m sorry, but unfortunately the answer is yes
1056
When a Midwesterner says “the other day” it could mean 30 minutes or 30 years ago
1057
Midwestern folk units of measurement:
Next door= 1-2 miles
Right up the road= 5-10 miles
Up North= 15-100 miles
A couple miles= 10-20 miles
Not too far= 20-50 minutes
A little ways= over an hour
A pretty good drive= 2 hours +
Drive down there= literally any direction
1058
There’s all these tweets about midwesterners saying “ope” all the time. What really needs to be talked about though is how we whisper “scuse me” so quietly when walking by someone we might as well say nothing
1060
Halloween in the Midwest as a kid:
Having a cool costume but you couldn’t fully show it off because you either had to have a jacket on over it
or you had to get two sizes too big so you could wear layers under it
1061
welcome to the Midwest:
- Winter is at 5am
- Spring starts at 8am
- Winter hits again at noon
- Summer is at 2pm
- Fall starts around 5:30ish
Dress accordingly
1062
Midwest dads on vacation:
1. Wake up at 6 AM for no reason
2. Puts address in GPS, uses route he thinks is quicker than route that is given.
3. Try to make people feel bad for sleeping in
4. Always walking 30 feet ahead of everyone else twitter.com/midwestern_ope…
1063
Midwest dads:
gets bill at restaurant: "what’s the damage”
tightens strap on back of truck: “that’s not going anywhere”
flips over a piece of meat on the grill: “oh yeah that’s money right there”
answers the phone: “YELLO”midwestvseverybody.com/products/ope-h…
1064
Midwesterners ⚠️
If you’ve heard a friend or a loved one use “oh it’s going” recently send help!
It’s a desperate cry for help
1065
In this life you either ope or get oped
1066
This is how midwesterners fake shelter during a tornado
1067
Kansas Ohio
Minnesota North Dakota
Indiana South Dakota
🤝
🤝 Ope 🤝
🤝
Michigan Wisconsin
Nebraska Iowa
Missouri Illinois
1068
Me: it’s cold
Midwesterner with no coat: you think this is cold? Wow. I was born in the snow. I’m not wearing a coat and I’m still not cold. Midwesterners just don’t get cold easily because we’re genetically immune after generations of suffering.
1069
ppl from the Midwest be “why would I fly when it’s only a 15 hr drive”
1070
Midwestern pride is suffering through a 40 degree day in October with a hoodie because you don’t want to give winter the satisfaction of getting your winter coat out yet
1071
Midwest Food Pyramid
Ranch
Cheesy potatoes Steak
Scotcheroos Sweet corn
Sloppy joes Tater Tot Casserole
1072
Welcome to the Midwest
Winter is at 7 am
Spring starts at 11:15 am
Summer is at 2 pm
And fall starts around 5:30
Glad you could make it!
1073
Darron on behalf of the Midwest welcome looks like you’re adjusting quickly twitter.com/DLeeMG8/status…
1074
Nobody:
Midwesterners: better mow the lawn today before it blizzards tomorrow
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody