1001
midwesterners on the first wednesday of the month
1002
That no matter how hard you try, you physically can’t stop yourself from slipping out an “ope” after bumping into someone
1003
In the Midwest we don’t ask “Did you eat?” We ask “jeetyet ?
"Naw"
"Jyawantoo?"
we also pronounce it "bolth" &
grandma says: “warsh” twitter.com/midwestern_ope…
1004
7 stages of midwestern love
1. “Watch out for deer”
2. “I’ll start your car for you”
3. “Jeet yet?”
4. “I’m bringing you Steak ‘n Shake”
5. “You remind of a lot like Billy”
6. “I’ll make you a plate to take some home”
7. “Call me when you get there so I know you made it”
1005
No one:
Midwesterners when it’s above 40 out:
1006
You're not really from the Midwest if you compliment a midwesterner on a personal possession and they don’t respond by explaining that they acquired said item at a significant discount.
1008
There’s all these tweets about midwesterners saying “ope.” What really needs to be talked about is the phrase “Welp” you use to express an unspoken need hidden by a desire not to inconvenience anyone after a particularly good conversation but it really is time to get going
1009
Midwest dad quotes:
flips over a piece of meat on the grill: “oh yeah that’s money right there”
asked what time it is: “time for you to get a watch”
when standing in their way : “you make a better door than a window”
answers the phone: “YELLO” twitter.com/midwestern_ope…
1010
*Midwesterners validating weather*
-20: “wouldn’t be that cold without the wind”
99 degrees: “i’m only sweating because of the humidity”
20 degrees: “honestly if ya stand in the sun it’s not that bad”
47° in the Spring: driving with the windows down bc it’s finally “nice out”
1011
Nobody:
Midwesterners when the temperature is above 40°:
1012
Midwest dad sayings:
-see a mattress on the highway: “Anyone need a mattress?”
-tightens strap on back of truck: “That’s not going anywhere”
-“Are you air conditioning the whole neighborhood?"
-gets bill at restaurant: looks at youngest child "Hope you brought your wallet"
1013
as a midwesterner, 40 degrees in mid
December is shorts and hoodie weather which is a very spiritual time for us. We are thriving, living our best life, if you will
1014
driving in the midwest:
🌽🌽🌽| || ⚫ |🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽| 🚘 || |🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽| 🦌 || |🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽| ⚫ || |🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽| || 🚧|🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽| 🚜|| |🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽| 🕳️|| 🦌|🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽| || |🌽🌽🌽
1015
Looking at someone’s driveway thinking “that’s gotta be tough to get up in the winter”
1016
*how to drive after 2 inches of snow*
South: pretend like you’re driving grandma to church and she’s holding a full pot of gravy with a platter of biscuits and sweet tea in the back seat.
Midwest: HOLD ON TIGHT GRAMMA WE’RE DRIFTING THIS 4-WAY!
1017
Rt if you hide a Christmas pickle ornament on the tree
Trying to prove a point
1018
the Midwest test:
When you hit it a pothole so hard you apologize to you car ✅
You put your paper plate upside down in the trash so you don’t offend whoever made the stuff you didn’t eat ✅
15 “opes” a day ✅
You have a grocery bag full of grocery bags in your house ✅
1019
alright midwesterners... you can get rid of one thing for 2020
retweet for humidity
fav for the wind
1020
I am a midwesterner and I am
🔘Cold
🔘Not cold
☑️Wouldn’t be that bad without the wind
1021
If you haven’t apologized to an inanimate object after bumping into it you’re not from here
1022
Midwest life is this on repeat until someone passes away
1023
It’s officially “why do I live here” season
1024
Midwesterners online: "10°? Ha, maybe I'll wear a light jacket haha"
Midwesterners in private, to their friends: "HOLY Sh** man I don't know how much longer we can keep this facade up this is actually hell I can't walk outside without my eyeballs freezing over"
1025
i am a:
⚪️ man
⚪️ woman
🔘 midwesterner
seeking:
⚪️ men
⚪️ women
🔘 more fridge space so I’ll probably use the garage in the meantime
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody