851
Midwest nice is holding the door open uncomfortably long for the person following you into the building
852
My body is not a temple it is a storage unit for Culver’s cheese curds
853
Midwesterners meeting for the first time:
“I’m from a small town”
“How many kids were in ur graduating class?”
“We had one gas station!”
“Oh yah... BUT did you have bring your tractor to school day?!”
“What’s a stoplight?”
854
WHAT DO WE WANT?
__________________
| shorts & |
| hoodie weather |
|＿＿＿＿＿＿___|
(\__/) ||
(•ㅅ•) ||
/ づ
WHEN DO WE WANT IT?
|￣￣￣￣￣￣|
| NOW |
|＿＿＿＿＿＿|
(\__/) ||
(•ㅅ•) ||
/ づ
856
Midwest power dad sayings:
gets bill at restaurant: *looks at youngest child* "Hope you brought your wallet"
flips over meat on the grill “oh yeah that’s money right there”
asked what time it is “time for you to get a watch”
“are you air conditioning the whole neighborhood?”
857
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
“It’s really not so bad out without the humidity”
858
📍Midwesterners
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| _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
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📍closest gas station |
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _|
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📍 Kwik Trip
859
Rt If you read this as “Ope Nope” because your Midwest roots over power logic
860
Midwest Mom sayings:
“Watch out for deer”
“Are you hungry”
“Tell your parents I say hello”
“Did you get this done”
“Make good choices”
“Call me when you get there so I know you made it”
861
The 9 levels of midwestern anger
9. “For crying out loud”
8. “Woah woah woah”
7. “Hold your horses”
6. “Jeez Louise”
5. “For Heaven’s sake””
4. “If I had a nickel for every time”
3. “Well, now wait a minute”
2. “For Pete’s sake”
1. “Listen here pal”
862
Midwesterners on vacation:
1. Wake up at 6 AM
2. Drive 14 hours instead of fly
3. Puts address in GPS, uses route they “know” is quicker
4. Live off of gas station food
5. Try to make people feel bad for sleeping in
6. Always walking 30 feet ahead of everyone else
863
⚠️THIS IS THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE TAKE SHELTER NOW⚠️
┳┻|
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┻┳|
┳┻|
┳┻|
┻┳|
┳┻|
┻┳|
┳┻| _
┻┳| •.•) *midwesterners*
┳┻|⊂ﾉ
┻┳|
864
Strong Midwest energy twitter.com/KahlieRhae/sta…
865
“Must be a lot safer in the Midwest without hurricanes”
Midwest:
866
Top Midwest Sides
9. Oreo fluff
8. Cheesy potatoes
7. Jello Salad
6. Seven layer dip
5. Pickle wraps
4. Puppy Chow
3. Crock pot meatballs
2. Scotcharoos
1. Buffalo Chicken Dip
867
Midwest billboards
“Cheese store”
“Jesus saves”
“Casino”
“Culvers next right”
“Beer and tobacco”
“Historic main st”
“16 Cracker Barrels exit now”
869
Midwest Anthem:
Turn left
Detour now y’all
Road closed this time
Left lane closed too
Merrrrrrge to the right
Merrrrrge to the left
FREEZE
Everybody traffic jam
870
In order to properly meet someone in the Midwest you must somehow know a neighbor, relative, distant relative or someone who went to school with them
871
Midwesterners: I might have a salad
The salad:
872
Small town midwest is choosing between the town firework show or the neighbor who bought $10k worth of mortars
873
“Name an extreme Midwest sport”
When the corn gets so tall that you can’t see oncoming traffic at the intersection
874
Midwesterners say “I know a spot” and you drive 14 hours instead of flying on a family vacation
875
Top 5 Midwest Power Couples
5. Potholes + your vehicle
4. Beer + big storms
3. Butter + sweet corn
2. Driving around + windows down
1. “Ope” + “lemme sneak past ya”
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody