701
If you compliment a Midwesterner on an item of clothing be prepared for a full explanation of how they got it at a justifiable discount
702
Winter Summer
🤝
Sleeping with the fan on
705
South: this is the coldest it’s been in decades
Northerners: cold?! I was born in an igloo. My first job was for Santa in the North Pole and I rode a polar bear to work every day. We eat ice for breakfast
706
I was today years old when I learned I lived in Antarctica
707
Nobody:
Midwesterners: I can’t wait for 35°
708
“Lows approaching -30 overnight in the Midwest this weekend”
Midwesterner: yeah but it really isn’t that bad without the wind
709
Like my grandpa probably always said “never shovel or scrape snow that a leaf blower can remove”
710
Midwesterners know you don’t measure distance by miles you measure it in time
711
What do you do for fun in the Midwest?
Me: well I start by kicking the ice chunks off of my car
712
Growing up in the Midwest means “let’s go drive around” for fun
713
It is 30 degrees warmer in a refrigerator than it is in the Midwest right now
715
Midwesterners looking for significantly discounted clothing twitter.com/paigekrphillip…
716
There Are Eight Parts to a Perfect Midwest Super Bowl Party
8. Seven layer dip
7. Charcuterie board (aka meat and cheese)
6. Lil smokies
5. Meatballs (toothpick)
4. Nachos
3. Chicken wings
2. Rotel + hamburger Queso
1. Buffalo chicken dip
717
❄️❄️❄️ ❄️❄️❄️ ❄️❄️❄️
❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️
❄️ ❄️ ❄️❄️❄️ ❄️❄️❄️
❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️
❄️❄️❄️ ❄️ ❄️❄️❄️
Don’t mind if I drop a few inches on ya
718
therapist: what do we say when someone is mean to us?
midwesterners: no worries, seriously not a problem its my bad, leftovers are in the fridge
therapist: no
719
The 10 levels of midwestern anger
10. “Jeez Louise”
9. “jesus, mary and, joseph”
8. “Woah woah woah”
7. “Hold your horses”
6. “Hey Buddy!”
5. “For Heaven’s sake””
4. “If I had a nickel for every time”
3. “Well, now wait a minute”
2. “For Pete’s sake”
1. “Listen here pal”
720
Stop talking trash about different Midwest states:
Minnesota is ICONIC
Wisconsin is BEAUTIFUL
Illinois is MAGNIFICENT
Michigan is GREAT
Ohio
Iowa is CUTTING EDGE
721
Kansas Ohio
Minnesota North Dakota
Indiana South Dakota
🤝
🤝 Ope sorry 🤝
🤝
Michigan Wisconsin
Nebraska Iowa
Missouri Illinois
722
As a Midwesterner I pride myself in being able to step outside, smell the air, and know a polar vortex is coming
723
Midwesterners just get in and drive because enough of the windshield and is clear twitter.com/PLENTYCASH_WAV…
724
It’s like a second fridge that we keep in the garage or basement and we only use it for beer, freezing meat or soup and is typically a hand me down from an older relative
725
┏┓
┃┃╱╲ In this
┃╱╱╲╲ house
╱╱╭╮╲╲ we support
▔▏┗┛▕▔ & appreciate
╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲
╱ 30° w/ no wind ____ ╲
╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲
▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody