651
“Midwesterners don’t have any culture”
Me:
652
Fun things to do in the Midwest
1. Drive around
2. Drive around and wave at passing cars
3. Wave people through 4 way stops
4. Drive until you see cows and say “COWS”
653
When it’s windy and you haven’t told anybody how nice it would be today without it
654
Midwesterner: “let’s go for sushi”
The sushi:
655
As a Midwesterner my preferred natural disaster is tornado followed closely by the 100 year flood that happens every 5 years
657
People in the Midwest live longer. We partially freeze for several months thus we age more gracefully. We are then moisturized for several months gently thawing until we are ready to be baked in the Summer.
658
it’s march in the midwest and it’s going to be:
⚪️ raining
⚪️ snowing
⚪️ tornado-ing
🔘 all of the above
because:
⚪️ midwest weather
⚪️ climate change
🔘 ᵗʰᵃᵗ’ˢ ˢʰᵒʷ ᵇⁱᶻᶻ ᵇᵃᵇʸ
660
The Perfect Saturday?
- no wind
- no rain
- no snow
- no humidity
- no bugs
Just backyard bbq and Cornhole. I like Cornhole
661
Friday nights for kids in the Midwest:
“Meet at Kwik Trip”
“I’m bored let’s go drive around”
“Bonfire party tonight”
*Walking around the store for fun*
“Let’s go to Steak ‘n Shake”
662
Driving over every pothole apologizing to my car
663
One of the great St. Paddy’s Day Traditions
Chicago, IL
664
Spring break in The Midwest: alright kids hop in the car it’s only a 14 hour drive
667
*$1,400 deposit*
Midwesterners at culvers: add a milkshake to that deluxe
669
We are all living in a Midwest simulation
670
Midwesterners love commenting on:
1. How the crops are looking
2. How high the river is
3. The rain that “we really needed”
4. Their neighbors yards
671
Therapy: $100/hr
Saying “living the dream”: free
673
Babe you good? You barely said “COWS” when we passed them a second ago.
674
Midwesterner 1: smell that?
Midwesterner 2: yep
Californian: huh?
Midwesterner 1: rain shower rolling in
675
The fact Wisconsin hasn’t stolen the Upper Peninsula of Michigan says everything you need to know about Midwest nice
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody