276
*TORNADO SIREN*
*looks outside and sees calm skies*
“Oh yeah it’s just the first Wednesday of the month”
277
“I like your shirt”
Midwest women: oh thanks I got it on sale from target and it’s like a million years old
278
every dude in the Midwest is built like this
279
Midwesterners: what a beautiful day
The wind:
280
Driving in the Midwest
🌽🌽🌽| || 🕳️ |🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽| 🚘 || |🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽| 🦌 || 🚧| “HELL IS REAL”
🌽🌽🌽| 🚧 || 🚧 | 🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽| || 🚧|🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽| 🚜|| 🚧 | “Kwik Trip Next
🌽🌽🌽| 🕳️|| 🦌| Right”
🌽🌽🌽| 🐄|| 🚧 |🌽🌽🌽
281
You ever just “we needed this” after a good rainstorm?
283
Fun Things to Do in the Midwest:
- fist fight mosquitos
- have a heat stroke
- get frost bite and hypothermia
- run from wasps
- get third degree sunburn
- run the heat and AC on the same day
284
“Tell your folks i says hi”
Midwesterner: okay will do (will not do)
286
I’m a
⚪️ man
⚪️ woman
🔘 midwesterner
Looking for
⚪️ men
⚪️ women
🔘 a bonfire and cold beer
287
In the Midwest it is customary to go through the garage or side door and leave the fancy front door for guests
288
It’s not the heat it’s the humidity that gets ya
289
Thunderstorms when you’re going to bed >
290
Nobody:
Midwest Grandparents: “need anything warshed?”
291
It went from “not so bad without the wind” to “not so bad without the humidity” in 24 hours
293
Midwesterner: I have trust issues
Date: oh did someone hurt you in the past?
Midwesterner: no sometimes the sun doesn’t shine for 40 days and I don’t think it’ll ever come back
294
I trust the guy with the aching knee that can “smell storms coming” over my weather app
298
Midwestern Units of Measurement:
Next door = 500 ft.-3 miles
Just up the road = 5-10 miles
Up North= hand gesture north-ish
A couple minutes away = 10-20 miles
Not too far = 45 minutes
A lil’ ways = over an hour
Pretty good drive = 2 hours+
Drive down there = literally anywhere
299
Midwest billboards
“Jesus saves”
“Adult Store XXX”
“Casino”
“Dollar General next right”
“Cheese”
“Beer and tobacco”
“Visit our Historic Downtown”
300
In the Midwest you have to double check if it’s butter or leftovers
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody