126
midwest culture is driving with your windows down when it’s only 42 degrees out bc “it finally feels nice outside”
127
My body is not a temple it is a storage unit for Culver’s cheese curds
128
Midwesterner 40 degree weather starter pack:
129
Midwest language 101
the other day = could mean yesterday or 1994
Yeah no = No
Yeah no for sure = Definitely
Oh, it’s going = *desperate cry for help*
watch for deer = I love you
130
Heaven on earth? 75 degrees with no humidity in the Midwest in August
131
being a midwesterner is:
- knowing "the other day" could mean yesterday or 1992
- entering a house through the garage instead of the front door
- saying “all good no worries” when it is not all good and there are plenty of worries
Plastic bag full of plastic bags
132
Can you really call yourself a midwesterner if you don’t understand the struggle of hitting a pot hole so hard that you apologize to your car out loud?
133
Midwesterners when the temperature is above 40°
134
Driving in the Midwest:
-road construction
-pothole
-pothole
-pothole
-tractor
-deer
-train
-corn
REPEAT
135
On the 12th day of Christmas the Midwest gave to me
12 random seasons
11 unfixed potholes
10 bottles of ranch
9 tornado sirens
8 runaway cattle
7 u betchas
6 games of corn hole
5 OPE SORRYS
4 big storms
3 Welp, alrights
2 one finger waves
and a 30 minute doorway goodbye
137
someone: omg do you smell the air??
Texans: ??
Californians: ...
Floridians: 🤪
midwesterners: yep i can feel it in my joints, there’s a blizzard coming in a day or so y’all better get ready
138
A beautiful unwritten rule in the Midwest is when the speed limit says 65 and everybody says “if we all go 80 they can’t pull us over”
139
Learn Midwestern 101:
“We might be there” - not coming
“I’ll let you know” - not coming
“Hmm not sure yet” - very sure about not coming
“I’ll see if we can make it work” - it will not and not coming
“I’ll think about it” - nothing to think about and not coming
141
It is 30 degrees warmer in a refrigerator than it is in the Midwest right now
142
Chicken strips? You mean ranch shovel?
143
Like any good dip, there are 8 layers to a Midwestern goodbye:
- about to leave warning
- a "we've gotta go" statement
- hugs
- walking to the doorway
- one more conversation in the doorway
- more hugs
- talking while everyone's piling in the doorway
- placing hand on doorknob
144
things that DON’T make you ugly
- acne
- being over/under weight
- scars
- stretch marks
- body hair
- thinning hair/loss
- psoriasis/eczema/rashes
- fat rolls
- amputations
- physical abnormalities
things that DO make you ugly
- calling “walking tacos” ~taco in a bag~
145
There’s all these tweets about midwesterners saying “ope” all the time. What really needs to be talked about though is how we whisper “scuse me” so quietly when walking by someone we might as well say nothing
146
Social distancing? You mean living in the rural Midwest
147
the old men who shovel the sidewalks after a snowstorm are the midwestern heroes we don’t deserve
148
📍people from the Midwest
|
|
|
|
📍ranch dressing
|
|
|
|
📍pizza
150
“I’ll start your car for you” and “watch out for deer” is midwestern language for I love you
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody