76
therapist: what do we say when someone is mean to us?
midwesterners: no worries, seriously not a problem its my bad
therapist: no
77
Living in the Midwest
me
📍
📏 (45 min drive)
📏
📏
📍
Favorite restaurant
78
How seasons work in the Midwest:
Jan - Bitterly Cold
Feb - Still Cold
Mar - Potholes
Apr - Cold Rain
May - Storms
Jun - Mosquitoes
Jul - Walk out and sweat instantly
Aug - Surface of the sun
Sep - Tiny Black Bugs
Oct - Bonfires
Nov - Winter Preview
Dec - Cold, with decorations
79
the Midwest test:
When you hit it a pothole so hard you apologize to you car ✅
You put your paper plate upside down in the trash so you don’t offend whoever made the stuff you didn’t eat ✅
15 “opes” a day ✅
You have a grocery bag full of grocery bags in your house ✅
80
Kids today get a push notification that school is cancelled instead of having to wake up early and watch the news like the NFL draft
83
therapist: and what do we do when we are sad?
Midwesterners: say “it’s all good no worries”
therapist: no
84
In the Midwest we don’t ask “Did you eat?” We ask “jeet?”
85
Mother Nature: you cannot have -46 wind chills Wednesday and then 52 degrees on Monday, that’s a 96 degree switch.
Midwest: hold my corn
86
midwest culture is:
-driving with the windows down when it’s 47 degrees out bc “it’s
finally nice outside”
-saying goodbye 20 times and standing around talking for another half hour while slowly inching your way out the door
-blaming the wind otherwise it wouldn’t be so cold
89
Midwesterners love making a big pot of chili and eating it for the next four days
90
Midwest satisfaction is kicking these off
91
“Just use bug spray”
The mosquitos in the Midwest:
92
Midwestern pride is suffering through a 40 degree day in October with a hoodie because you don’t want to give winter the satisfaction of getting your winter coat out yet
93
Due to inclement weather, the Midwest will be closed for the next week
95
“Tornado warning, please take shelter immediately”
midwestern dad:
96
In the Midwest it is customary to say “all good no worries” when it is not all good and there are plenty of worries
97
In the Midwest it is customary to accept a compliment by explaining how you got the item at a significant discount “thank you I got it cheap at Kohls”
98
Growing up in the Midwest is knowing that it’s not worth explaining where you’re actually from, just name the biggest city closest to you and get on with your life
99
I am a
⚪️ Male
⚪️ Female
🔘 Midwesterner
Looking for
⚪️ bug spray
⚪️ ranch
🔘 a day without humidity and
sweating as soon as i step outside
100
When a Midwesterner says “the other day” it could mean 3 days ago or 2003
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody