902
You can be republican
You can be democrat
You can be left
You can be right
You can be anything in this world
But this is a walking taco not a
~taco in a bag~
903
Midwesterners didn’t need a pandemic as an excuse to party in the garage
904
“Lows approaching -30 overnight in the Midwest this weekend”
Midwesterner: yeah but it really isn’t that bad without the wind
905
Midwest Anthem:
Turn left
Detour now y’all
Road closed this time
Left lane closed too
Merrrrrrge to the right
Merrrrrge to the left
FREEZE
Everybody traffic jam
906
Nobody:
Midwesterners : corn is looking good this year
907
Yeah sex is good but have you experienced a Midwestern summer day without humidity?
908
Midwest dads:
gets bill at restaurant: "alright what’s the damage”
tightens strap on back of truck: “that’s not going anywhere”
flips over a piece of meat on the grill: “that’s money right there”
Kid is hungry: “hi hungry I’m dad”
answers the phone: “YELLO”
909
People always make fun of midwesterners for not taking cover during a tornado when it’s literally called “tornado watch”
911
Winter:
a. lightning
b. thunder
c. blizzard
d. -40° ➡️ 60°
Midwest: “all of the above”
913
Nobody:
Midwesterners: not so bad without the wind today
914
I don’t know who needs to hear this but use your time in quarantine to clean your “junk drawer”
915
“Let’s go for sushi”
Midwesterner: I’m in
916
In the Midwest it is appropriate to scream and furiously rub your hands together in a cold car
917
“You can throw the extra food and drinks on the porch”
918
Passing someone on the road to see who was driving like a moron
919
I am a
⚪️ Male
⚪️ Female
🔘 Midwesterner
Looking for
⚪️ bug spray
⚪️ sunscreen
🔘 a day without humidity and
sweating as soon as i step outside
920
The 8 layers to a Midwestern goodbye:
- about to leave warning (stand up)
- a "we've gotta go" statement
- hugs
- walking to the doorway
- one more conversation in the doorway
- more hugs
- continue talking while everyone's piling in the doorway
- placing hand on doorknob
921
"Alright, well.."
how you know when a Midwesterner is trying to end a conversation.
922
midwesterner midwesterner
🤝
Leaving no early than 20 mins
after the first “alright I spose” goodbye
923
BREAKING: midwesterners stuck on the front porch unable to wrap up their goodbyes before heading home from holiday gatherings
924
┏┓
┃┃╱╲ In this
┃╱╱╲╲ house
╱╱╭╮╲╲ we support
▔▏┗┛▕▔ & appreciate
╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲
╱ 50 degree days
in December ____ ╲
╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲
▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔
925
Due to inflation the Midwest goodbye has been lengthened by 3 hours
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody