776
*Midwesterner asking for a favor*
Hey could you help me with this thing? Absolutely no pressure though. Totally ok if you can’t. If you’d rather run me over with a car that’s cool. Are you mad at me?
778
Midwest dads:
gets bill at restaurant: "what’s the damage”
tightens strap on back of truck: “that’s not going anywhere”
flips over a piece of meat on the grill: “oh yeah that’s money right there”
asked what time it is: “time for you to get a watch”
answers the phone: “YELLO”
780
What do you do for fun in the Midwest?
Me: well I start by kicking the ice chunks off of my car
781
You gotta love the Midwest polite but slightly aggressive “go ahead” “no you go ahead” exchanges
782
If you think the Midwest is just a bunch of corn fields, Kwik Trips, and potholes you should
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Educate yourself
it’s also a lot of driving around looking for things to do
784
Stages of Shoveling Snow
- assignment from parents
- layering up
- preshovel optimism
- shoveling row by row
- reshoveling the leftovers
- snot and loogies
- full body sweat
- complete & utter defeat
786
Life in the Midwest until someone eventually passes away
787
[restaurant getting crowded]
midwestern dads: looks like we got here just in time 😎
788
I say “ope” about 50 times everyday and if it wasn’t for Twitter I would of never noticed.
789
“tHe MiDwEST dOesN’t HaVe ANy CuLTuRe”
Explain this:
790
Nobody:
Midwesterners: I hope it rains to tonight to break the humidity
791
“All rise for the singing of our national anthem”
Midwest: SAVE BIG MONEY AT MENARDS
794
The Lawerence Kansas PD encouraging people to not shoot at tornadoes is the most midwestern thing you’ll read all day
795
This is how midwesterners fake shelter during a tornado
797
Midwest Your
Weather Bank account
🤝
Unpredictability
798
“Midwesterners will make 7 different salads for the fourth and none of them will have lettuce”
Midwesterner: do you want to come over or not?
799
Now that free speech is allowed on here
NORMALIZE PUPPY CHOW FOR BREAKFAST
800
As a Midwesterner I pride myself in being able to step outside, smell the air, and know a polar vortex is coming
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody