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everything you need to know about the Midwest
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The 10 levels of midwestern anger
10. “Jeez Louise”
9. “jesus, mary and, joseph”
8. “Woah woah woah”
7. “Hold your horses”
6. “Hey Buddy!”
5. “For Heaven’s sake””
4. “If I had a nickel for every time”
3. “Well, now wait a minute”
2. “For Pete’s sake”
1. “Listen here pal”
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Speak midwestern 101
Welp = an exclamation before it’s time to go
No Yeah = Yes
Yeah no = No
I’ll let you know = They will not let you know
It’s all good no worries = are you kidding me with that crap
Geez Louise = peak anger statement
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How To Use Ope
You’re in the way: “Ope, sorry.”
Suddenly called upon: “Ope, okay.”
It makes sense now: “Ope, got it.”
Late for something: “Ope, let’s go.”
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Say what you will about the Midwest but we know how to make a gas station
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The first time The 8567th time
Seeing cows seeing cows
On the side of on the side of
the road the road twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
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Growing up in the Midwest is going with your parents to pick something up from a friend and waiting in the car for 20 minutes while they talk.
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Midwesterners meeting for the first time:
“I’m from a small town”
“How many kids were in ur graduating class?”
“We had one gas station!”
“Oh yah... BUT did you have bring your tractor to school day?!”
“What’s a stoplight?”
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Congress announced the next round of stimulus will likely be a giant bottle of ranch and midwesterners are ecstatic
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Growing up in the Midwest means “let’s go drive around” for fun
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How seasons work in the Midwest:
Jan- cold
Feb- bitterly cold
March- pretend not to be cold
April- rainy cold
May- Ope, tornado szn
June- construction
July- mosquitos
Aug- humidity
Sept- tiny black bugs from hell
Oct- bonfires
Nov- winter preview
Dec- cold w/ decorations
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living in the Midwest probs 😂
(credit: andrewwiknerr)
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Midwesterners when they flash their headlights at oncoming traffic to signal a speed trap up ahead
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Two Midwesterners pass each other on the street:
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The first time The 8536th time
Seeing cows seeing cows
On the side of on the side of
the road the road
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Pulling up to a 4-way stop in the Midwest and deciding who goes first
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*hits 50°*
Midwesterners: mmmm soup weather :)
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Yeah she’s cute but will she land a bag on the board in crunch time at the family Cornhole tournament? 👏
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A child was baptized in the church of the Midwest earlier today
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therapist: what do we say when someone is mean to us?
midwesterners: no worries, seriously not a problem its my bad, leftovers are in the fridge
therapist: no
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Every Midwest state has that other state they hate
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If you see a midwesterner today give them space, they’re enjoying a perfect fall day and nothing compares
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“Just up the road” = 1 block to 280 miles
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody