376
Midwestern folk units of measurement:
Next door= 1-2 miles
Right up the road= 5-10 miles
Up North= 15-100 miles
A couple miles= 10-20 miles
Not too far= 20-50 minutes
A little ways= over an hour
A pretty good drive= 2 hours +
377
When someone says they love your midwest accent
378
i am a:
⚪️ man
⚪️ woman
🔘 midwesterner
seeking:
⚪️ men
⚪️ women
🔘 a blizzard and a snow day
379
City people :
- no smiling
- no eye contact
- don’t acknowledge your presence
Small town Midwest :
- smile and wave
- hold the door open
- How are your kids by the way?
380
Ope. What is it ope?
It’s an apology of life.
a symbol of connection.
It’s human nature... our sixth sense.
a form of identity, a proud midwesterner
381
Midwest culture is saying
“Alright I spose’...” to signal you’re preparing to leave, and the other person responds with "Well, I guess I'll let you go.." Then someone lightly slaps their knee, u both get up get ready to go and stand and chat in the doorway for another 15 minutes
382
Two seasons in the Midwest:
“Not so bad without the humidity”
“Not so bad without the wind”
383
“Hey do you want six hard boiled eggs in a row?”
No
“We’re mixing egg yolk, mayo, mustard and putting it back on top of the egg”
Midwesterners:
385
Things in Midwestern homes that just make sense
1. Beer fridge
2. Junk drawer
3. Lawn chairs in the garage
4. Plastic bag full of plastic bags
5. Storage on top of the fridge
386
If you compliment a Midwesterner on an item of clothing be prepared for a full explanation of how they got it at a justifiable discount
387
Midwest meditation is slipping on the ice and just laying there for a bit
388
*how to drive after 2 inches of snow*
South: pretend like you’re driving grandma to church and she’s holding a full pot of gravy with a platter of biscuits and sweet tea in the back seat.
Midwest: HOLD ON TIGHT GRAMMA WE’RE DRIFTING THIS 4-WAY!
389
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
“It’s really not so bad out without the humidity”
390
One of the biggest struggles of growing up in the Midwest is explaining what these are
391
Watch for deer
There’s food in the fridge
I started your car this morning because it was cold
Midwestern for I love you
392
“Tornado warning take shelter immediately”
Midwesterners:
393
Ope
⊂_ヽ
＼＼ lemme just
＼( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> ⌒ヽ
/ へ＼
/ / ＼＼squeeze right
ﾚ ノ ヽ_つ
/ /
/ /|
( (ヽ
| |、＼
| 丿 ＼ ⌒) past ya
| | ) /
ノ ) Lﾉ
(_／
395
“Severe weather take cover”
sEvERe WeAthEr TaKE CoVEr
397
Say you’re from a small town to someone else also from a small town and it’ll turn into some weird competition like:
How many kids were in ur graduating class???
Um private schools don’t count!!..
Oh ya... BUT did you have bring your tractor to school day??!
398
We’re in the prime “only walking to the car, car to the building so I don’t need a jacket” time of year
399
Speak Midwestern 101
No yeah = yes
Yeah no = no
Yeah no for sure = definitely yes 100%
Yeah no yeah = unfortunately the answer is yes
No yeah no = oh no, you’ve got nothing to worry about
400
Brace yourself midwesterners, it’s officially that season.
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody