276
7 stages of midwestern love
1. “Watch out for deer”
2. “I’ll start your car for you”
3. “Jeet yet?”
4. “I’m bringing you Steak ‘n Shake”
5. “You remind of a lot like Billy”
6. “I’ll make you a plate to take some home”
7. “Call me when you get there so I know you made it”
277
Living in the Midwest
me
📍
📏 (45 min drive)
📏
📏
📍
The mall
279
In the Midwest it is customary to go through the garage or side door and leave the fancy front door for guests
280
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Ope just gonna SNEAK past ya and grab that
281
Midwesterners when someone asks if you want more buffalo chicken dip
282
Every midwesterner knows the only way to get warm in a cold car is scream as loud as possible and rub your hands together
283
Nobody:
Midwesterners: I can’t wait for 35°
285
top 4 favorite things midwesterners love to do for fun
4. apologize to everything
3. go to Walmart and walk around
2. driving around bc you’re bored
1. sitting out in your screened-in porch watching the storm roll in
286
Stranger: Hey where you from?
Midwesterner: Names all the cities that are geographically close to my town and say “around that area” rather than explaining where I’m actually from
287
Mother Nature: you cannot fit all the seasons into one week.
Midwest: hold my corn
288
When asked where you're from:
*Names the biggest city you live by bc it's not worth explaining where you're actually from*
289
Driving through the Midwest
Nothing
Corn
God is Real
Adult XXX Store
Corn
Cracker Barrel Next right
Nothing
291
Midwesterners face when they pass their neighbors on the sidewalk today
292
I don’t care how old you get when you drive past a field with cows it’s mandatory to announce their presence “COWS”
294
Official Midwest Glossary:
“Ope” = excuse me I’m sorry
“You’re fine no worries” = I don’t want you to worry about me that would be an inconvenience to you
“Alright well ” = don’t know how else to leave but its time
Yeah no yeah = I’m sorry, but unfortunately the answer is yes
295
Every Midwesterner has a childhood memory of the near death sledding experience
296
When driving past a field of cows on a road trip it is entirely acceptable to notify the entire car of their presence
“COWS”
297
One does not simply make a list for Target. You go to the store and Target tells you what to buy.
298
Midwest Food Pyramid
Ranch
Cheesy potatoes Steak
Scotcheroos Sweet corn
Sloppy joes Tater Tot Casserole
299
Tornado warnings in the Midwest be like
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody