1001
Did Da Vinci paint this photo? twitter.com/Lycains_/statu…
1002
Kwasi Kwarteng has applied to become the next manager of Watford as even that offers more job security than a role in this government.
1003
Conservative MP openly criticising the Chief Medical Officer of England during a pandemic. Also (unintentionally) reveals that the government has failed to “follow the science”
1004
Norwich cat surprised to find humans in her kitchen
bbc.co.uk/news/uk-englan…
1005
Fellow Londoners, please stay safe x #LondonFlooding twitter.com/R0bday/status/…
1006
Boris Johnson “There are some European counties that don’t even have a hotel quarantine system”
That would of course include the European country that he is Prime Minister of.
#PMQs
1007
A very happy Burns Night to those of you toasting the immortal memory of Robert Burns - my cousin, McLazza, shall be celebrating by eating the great chieftain o' the puddin-race!
#BurnsNight
1008
Back under the desk she goes… twitter.com/BlewettSam/sta…
1009
Maths really isn’t Sunak’s strongpoint - the very latest he can hold a general election is in 722 days (24th January 2025). If he waits that long it will only be because he will already be certain of losing
1011
Boris Johnson and Rishi Sunak won’t be isolating.
*a very short amount of time later*
Boris Johnson and Rishi Sunak will be isolating.
1012
Boris Johnson #partygate:
1. There were no parties
2. I’m disgusted to learn there were parties, which I didn’t know about
3. I personally attended a BYOB party, which I was invited to, believing it to be a work event
4. I apologise that you don’t think it was a work event
1013
To sum this message up in a word: Prick twitter.com/SkyNews/status…
1014
Long night… twitter.com/PoliticalPics/…
1015
@elonmusk Here’s the deal Is El; I’m the best thing on this wretched site so send the cat treats my way or I’m opening a MySpace account…
1017
There’s a new artificial intelligence system that writes tweets in the style of certain accounts. Here are four it thinks I might write and… nailed it. The machine uprising has begun.
1018
This is like Johnson and Raab have skim read a badly translated book on how to behave like normal people. They are so very, very strange.
1019
A message to those of you who have already scoffed all of your Easter eggs: Larry still loves ya.
1020
I’ve sent a congratulatory message to every @ParalympicsGB medal winner at #Tokyo2020 but I also want to say how proud we are of every single member of the team and all the support staff - you’ve performed brilliantly and given us a huge lift when we needed it most. Thank you x
1021
Alright fellas, won’t be checking my tweets for a while as I’ll be watching AC-12 hunting bent coppers. Imagine that level of corruption in a public office! Now we’re sucking on diesel... #LineOfDuty
1022
Huge amounts of sewage being pumped out:
Privatised water companies 🤝 Tory leadership candidates twitter.com/BBCSussex/stat…
1023
Boris Johnson promised high speed rail connecting the north of England.
The reality:
1024
Finally some good news for the people of Tunbridge Wells; at last a Prime Minister who will stand up for them instead of people living in deprived areas…
1025
I should have known that he’d balls it up twitter.com/Number10cat/st…
Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office. 15 year old tabby. Living with my fifth Prime Minister. Unofficial. A subpar odyssey.