727
Leaving at this stage preserves no dignity, it just draws attention to how long you’ve been happy to remain complicit. twitter.com/sajidjavid/sta…
728
On the fourth day of Christmas my true love sent to me, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree. They’re not calling anymore; ate them.
729
Just been served a turnip for my supper…
730
Tonight, all cats are lionesses x twitter.com/Lionesses/stat…
731
Today in competent government:
The Prime Minister has refused to say she trusts her Chancellor.
The Home Secretary has said that members of her party staged a coup against the government (and won).
The Chancellor has blamed his errors on pressure because of the Queen’s death .
732
Gerbils don’t need a driver’s license
Otters don’t need a National Insurance card
Badgers don’t need a national record of Achievement
733
Just off to do my second job as an advisor to Rentokil; Johnson can scare off his own mice today.
734
I’ve made sure Boris Johnson’s new work uniform is ready; anybody got a broom I can borrow? #BorisTheCaretaker
735
Just found Boris Johnson’s stash of Easter eggs; he’d put them all in one basket...
736
It’s good to see that Boris Johnson finally rose to the occasion at his final #PMQs and answered questions directly and with professional courtesy and humil… Nah, of course not. He lost his temper, garbled his words and threw a temper tantrum a toddler would be proud of. Ta-ra.
737
I’m not saying that Boris Johnson is keen to avoid #PMQs tomorrow but he’s been shaking hands with everyone in the covid ward again… #kitileaks
738
There are no words.
(Pics @almaraabgarian and @jackhillphoto)
739
Christmas jumpers have been around longer than you might realise…
740
It really is like living with an ill-disciplined 7 year old sometimes...
metro.co.uk/2021/02/21/bor…
741
As part of the return of (Great) British Rail(ways) I’ve agreed to personally manage all station cats - easy job as they’re the only part of the system that works consistently
742
Wishing you all a very happy St George’s Day
743
@Nigel_Farage It’s weird, I’m a cat but I can still hear this dog whistle.
744
On the prowl… twitter.com/justin_ng/stat…
745
That’s my exercise done for the month twitter.com/justin_ng/stat…
746
Wishing all the Mums in the UK, Ireland and Nigeria a very happy Mother’s Day (don’t worry followers elsewhere, your date is different)
747
I don’t want to alarm anyone, but Noah’s just put in a big order at the timber yard...
748
The Royal Family are dog people. Draw your own conclusions.
749
On this Good Friday remember the most important of Jesus’ commandments: “Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself… unless they’re refugees, in which case export them pronto”
Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office. 15 year old tabby. Living with my fifth Prime Minister. Unofficial. A subpar odyssey.