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Fan comes up to me
Fan: “Are you CallMeCarson?”
Me: “Yeah that’s me!”
Fan: “You know quackity!”
going to be taking some time off.
128
There is no greater defeat than when the waiter calls me “buddy” when I’m ordering my food
Soon I will be 21, yet here I am, looking like I’m 14.
129
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DEPRESSION IS FOR CHUMPS. HAVE A SNICKERS.
131
1 million followers? I hardly know her!
132
All I wanna do is smack their heads and see if they make a ringing sound twitter.com/Emojipedia/sta…
133
july the fourth be with you
135
me: *makes normal joke*
stans: OHJJFXDBBYH I CANT BELIEVE THIS I AM SO DONE WITH HIM,,,,,, STOP CARSON,,, I’M BLOCKING HIM—— THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME OMGJBJHNOKKB
136
what if it was all a dream
137
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COOL ENGLAND FACT! it sucks
139
The source of all my pain is when I’m eating an onion ring and the onion part comes out and now I’m stuck with an onion and a ring
140
y’all... spell icup
141
you're tellin me a shrimp fried this rice
142
spent the whole day wishing I was monkey again...
143
fart
ⓘ 𝗢𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹𝘀 𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁 𝗮𝘄𝗲𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲.
144
BEING SAD IS CRINGE! IF I WERE YOU I WOULD STOP BEING SAD. IF YOU AREN’T HAPPY YOU’RE WEIRD.
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society has surpassed the need for people with peanut allergies
148
I have a type and it’s hot women
150
Who do you think God mains?