302
Next year is 2020. Double digits!
303
when your clone walks in
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305
The year is 2021. You drive to your friend's birthday party and on the way a virgin Ford F150 drives into the side of your TESLA CYBERTRUCK™ - It crumples like paper. You scoff as you drive off with your framed portrait of Elon Musk, not a rearview mirror in sight. No survivors.
306
red is sus!!! LOL I love among us
307
I wanna have a day where everyone born in the 2000’s gets their account locked and we all just laugh and laugh and laugh
308
MADDEN. FOOOTBALLL! Every year more football. Seven eight...seven eight...*calls an audible* hut hut HIKE- *the play is a hail mary that gets intercepted* GOD BLESS AMERICA I LOVE FOOTBALL AND MY WIFE AND JOHN MADDEN
309
I just got my eyes back and now i have to see this debate
310
Instead of rubbing two rocks together to start a fire, I think I’ll tell the ground whether I’m a boy or girl from now on
311
Can’t believe I have 100,000+ girlfriends twitter.com/CallMeCarsonYT…
312
The source of all my pain is when I’m eating an onion ring and the onion part comes out and now I’m stuck with an onion and a ring
313
retweet if you agree
314
What do you call it when you drop your eggs on the ground while cooking them?
A bad eggscident! I’m thinking of quitting twitter
315
Seeing normal cats:
- fluffy and adorable
- lots of love and attention
- makes me happy
Seeing the movie Cats:
- okay that’s a little weird
- please stop dancing so sexually
- haha OH WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHAT T̷̤̱̿̽͌̀͂̐̅͊͂̍͠͝H̷̯̦̾̂͊̈́̈́̎̍E FUCK̸̛̛̛̥͉͇̞̝̓͌̐̃͑̒͌̆̂͊͒ͅ
316
Hey guys, high-five me in the replies🖐
318
I don’t know how MrBeast and other youtubers do it, I did one big collab project, it took 3 months and I’m pooped!
319
@Twitter plan* shit
320
just farted
322
I just want to warn you all of the coming storm of people making “2020 vision” jokes - there will be many and they will all be more popular than they should be
325
someone out there is listening to nightcore as they work on getting their PhD