51
1944: "Gonna need you to storm this beach under heavy machine gun fire. Thousands of you will die."
United States: "Okay."
2020: "Gonna need you to wear a small piece of cloth over your mouth and nose. Otherwise thousands of you will die."
United States: "HOW FUCKING DARE YOU"
52
It is NOT funny that Donald Trump Jr.’s wife cheated on him with a secret service agent,
53
It’s almost like Trump’s corruption gets jealous when Trump’s incompetence is getting too much attention
54
Liberal parents worry about our kids getting Covid at school, getting shot at school, being forced by the government to carry an unwanted child to term, and living in a world ravaged by climate change.
Conservative parents worry their kids will learn about racism.
55
In the unlikely event of a sudden drop in cabin pressure, masks will drop down from above your seats and half of you will refuse them
56
The difference between Donald Trump and You.
Today's ad.
Please share.
57
Can’t believe a baseball game happened right next to America’s national pastime twitter.com/Acosta/status/…
58
By Monday, Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio are gonna be like “I, too, hate the military, sir!”
59
Ruth Bader Ginsburg is 86 years old.
I'll be voting for whoever wins the Democratic nomination.
60
Remember earlier this week, when a Republican-chaired Senate committee released evidence that the Trump campaign colluded with Russia?
61
This is the kinda shit my kids say when I limit their screen time
62
FOX NEWS: So patriotic, they’re willing to hate the U.S. Olympic team and the Capitol police
63
I almost wish the 'ketchup plate against the wall' and the 'grabbing the steering wheel' stuff didn't come out today, because "I don't fucking care if they have weapons, they're not here to hurt *me*" is the quote of the day
64
Can’t believe Trump lost just two weeks before releasing his health care plan
65
Hard to believe Dershowitz’s defenses of OJ and Jeffrey Epstein wouldn’t be the low point of his career, but here we are
66
“But cars kill people too!” Yep, and it’s illegal to own or operate one without proper registration and insurance and a license (ie a competency test).
67
Folks, I’d steer clear of Fifth Avenue today if I were you
68
@NPR Seems to me, someone cackling while a person is talking about the mass murder of schoolchildren is the story, but what do I know
69
So, the answer to the question “What do you have to lose?” turned out to be:
Three million jobs, 400,000 lives, and our dignity
70
Dear Mitt Romney, Susan Collins, Lisa Murkowski, Thom Tillis, Cory Gardner, Martha McSally and Joni Ernst:
What you do next will define your entire life.
71
“Here to discuss it: two Republican Senators, a confederate statue and this magic 8-ball”
-Chuck Todd
72
We are back in the Paris Climate Accord
The two parties are NOT the same
74
All I know is Republicans will eliminate the filibuster in a HEARTBEAT if they ever need to
75
I'm almost scared to hear the answers, but... those of you who are privileged enough to have a cleaning person -- you're giving them paid leave, right?
Writer/producer: The Grinder, The Comedians, Community, Arrested Development