1101
Employer: what is your greatest weakness?
Midwesterner: I have a habit of apologizing to inanimate objects after bumping into them
1102
4. Olympic level athleticism when playing cornhole
5. Refusal to wear a jacket bc “Im only walking from my car to the building” strength is unmatched
6. The extreme thoughtfulness to put ur paper plate upside down in the trash to not offend whoever made the stuff you didnt eat
1103
Midwesterner slang for a 1/10 review:
“I didn't mind it”
“Not too bad at all”
“Did the trick”
“Yeah, pretty good”
“Better than expected”
“Fine overall”
“Decent”
“I’ve seen worse”
“It was alright”
“No real complaints”
“I ate most of it”
“Yep, okay”
1104
This is how far midwesterners go to hold the door open for someone in public
1105
*TORNADO SIREN*
*looks outside and sees calm skies*
“Oh yeah it’s just the first Wednesday of the month”
1106
I trust the guy with the aching knee that can “smell storms coming” over my weather app
1107
Midwesterner: lol the midwest sucks, I’m bored
Outsider: the midwest sucks, it’s boring
Me:
1108
Nothing says date night in the Midwest like driving 45 minutes to your favorite restaurant
1109
Midwesterners didn’t need a pandemic as an excuse to party in the garage
1110
*roads full of potholes*
“I wish they would actually fix the roads around here”
*construction crews working on the roads*
“Sheesh do they really need to fix all the roads at once?!”
1111
me: *hopes for consistent/nice weather*
the midwest: 50 degrees on monday, rain all day tuesday, high of 20 on wednesday, 35 and sleet thursday, friday it’s snowing
me: weird flex but ok
1112
Midwest nice can be exhausting:
- how are you?
- how are your parents/kids?
- can I get you anything to eat/drink?
- can I do your chores?
- do you need me to smile, wave, slightly nod my head or hold the door open for you?
- can I mow your lawn?
- do you want my house?
1113
You’re in her DM’s midwesterners are brushing the snow off her car you are not the same
1114
We call this “Midwest Meditation” twitter.com/CaucasianJames…
1115
If you’ve eaten one of these you’re immune to the coronavirus
1116
If you take the pothole count from Iowa and multiply that by the unfinished road construction in Illinois you get Ohio
1117
Attention ⚠️
The pothole fillers have fallen in a pothole
1118
*3 inches of snow*
The South: all activities are cancelled for the next week, drive like you’re taking grandma to church, this could be the end folks!
The Midwest: hold on grandma I’m drifting this next turn!
1119
“What’s it like living in the Midwest?”
Life is one big ope
1120
Antonio brown Midwest weather
🤝
Unpredictable
1121
“Sorry I was late traffic was bad this morning”
1124
Midwestern Song Titles, Vol. 1
Ope! I Did it Again
Bye Bye (Talk for Another 20 Minutes by the Door) Bye
Ope, there goes gravity!
I Wanna Hold Your Door
I Want You Betcha
Ex's and Ohfercute's
1125
It’s funny that people think the midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields but they forget it’s also a lot of driving around on roads full of potholes, construction, random waves to passing cars and avoiding deer on the way to Kwik Trip
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody