51
Midwesterners online: "-60°? Ha, maybe I'll wear a light jacket haha"
Midwesterners in private, to their friends: "Shit man I don't know how much longer we can keep this facade up this is actually hell I can't walk outside without my eyeballs freezing over"
52
therapist: and what do we do when we are sad?
Midwesterners: say “it’s all good no worries”
therapist: no
55
“We can’t have a blizzard in November”
Midwest: hold my corn
56
We talk about “Ope” as a midwestern phrase but we really need to talk about the “you’re fine” vs “no worries” response to “Sorry”
retweet for “you’re fine”
favorite for “no worries”
57
How seasons work in the Midwest:
Jan - Bitterly Cold
Feb - Still Cold
Mar - Potholes
Apr - Cold Rain
May - Storms
Jun - Mosquitoes
Jul - Walk out and sweat instantly
Aug - Surface of the sun
Sep - Tiny Black Bugs
Oct - Bonfires
Nov - Winter Preview
Dec - Cold, with decorations
59
Nobody appreciates a 50 degree day in March more than people that live in the Midwest. People start acting totally different. It’s prime shorts and hoodie weather, time to fire up the grill, roll the windows down in the car. It’s a spiritual time for us midwesterners.
62
I am a
⚪️ Male
⚪️ Female
🔘 Midwesterner
Looking for
⚪️ bug spray
⚪️ ranch
🔘 a day without humidity and
sweating as soon as i step outside
63
On the 12th day of Christmas the Midwest gave to me
12 random seasons
11 unfixed potholes
10 bottles of ranch
9 tornado sirens
8 runaway cattle
7 u betchas
6 games of corn hole
5 OPE SORRYS
4 big storms
3 Welp, alrights
2 one finger waves
and a 30 minute doorway goodbye
64
ppl from the Midwest be “why would I fly when it’s only a 15 hr drive”
65
Let’s solve this like adults
RT for Quiktrip Like for Casey’s
66
Iowa dog takes itself sledding.. midwest talent at its best
68
*single leaf falls*
People from the Midwest: “Ope, well grab my flannels, throw me on a hayride, pour me some cider and call me spooky, it’s almost Halloween!”
69
*Midwest dad at a restaurant who just paid his bill*
His Brain:
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Dad:
"You guys ready to rock and roll?"
70
❄️❄️❄️ ❄️❄️❄️ ❄️❄️❄️
❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️
❄️ ❄️ ❄️❄️❄️ ❄️❄️❄️
❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️
❄️❄️❄️ ❄️ ❄️❄️❄️
it’s f****** cold out
72
It’s prime shorts and hoodie weather. A sacred time for midwesterners. Nothing can stand in our way today
73
If you ask a Midwesterner “how are you” and they respond
1. “well, im here”
2. “oh it’s going”
3. “living the dream”
send help immediately. It’s a desperate cry for help that loosely translates to “i need you to push me off the roof.”
74
Midwest language 101
the other day = could mean yesterday or 1994
Yeah no = No
Yeah no for sure = Definitely
Oh, it’s going = *desperate cry for help*
watch for deer = I love you
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody