26
I am a midwesterner and I am
🔘Cold
🔘Not cold
☑️Wouldn’t be that bad without the wind
28
*Midwesterners validating weather*
-20 out: “it wouldn’t be that cold without the wind”
99 degrees: “i’m only sweating because of the humidity”
20 degrees: “honestly if ya stand in the sun it’s not that bad”
47 degrees: driving with the windows down bc it’s finally “nice out”
29
Friday nights for kids in the Midwest:
“Meet at McDonald’s”
“I’m bored let’s go drive around”
“Bonfire party tonight”
*Walking around Walmart or the
mall for fun*
“Let’s go to Steak ‘n Shake”
30
8 levels of midwestern anger
8. “Woah woah woah”
7. “Hold your horses”
6. “Jeez Louise”
5. “Listen here pal”
4. “If I had a nickel for every time”
3. “Well, now wait a minute”
2. “For Pete’s sake”
1. “Son of a gun”
31
midwest culture is:
-driving with the windows down when it’s 47 degrees out bc “it’s
finally nice outside”
-saying goodbye 20 times and standing around talking for another half hour while slowly inching your way out the door
-apologizing to your car after hitting a pothole
32
Midwesterners love to say the following things at restaurants:
- (when the line is getting long behind them) “We came at the right time!”
- (when getting the check) “Alright, what’s the damage?”
- (coming out of the bathroom) “You ready to rock and roll?”
33
Midwestern folk units of measurement:
Next door= 1-2 miles
Right up the road= 5-10 miles
Up North= 15-100 miles
A couple miles= 10-20 miles
Not too far= 20-50 minutes
A little ways= over an hour
A pretty good drive= 2 hours +
Drive down there= literally any direction
34
Mother Nature: you cannot have -46 wind chills Wednesday and then 52 degrees on Monday, that’s a 96 degree switch.
Midwest: hold my corn
35
Shorts and hoodie weather this week. If you see a Midwesterner smiling and enjoying themselves, leave them be. This is a spiritual time for us.
36
“watch for deer” is the Midwest way of saying “I love you”
37
No one:
Midwesterners: twitter.com/odishhhhh/stat…
38
Ope
| 👀 |
\ /
____| |_____
/ ✊__/
\_✊
hold on lemme just
| 👀 |
\ /
____| |_____
/__✊ \
👋_/
sneak by ya
| 🕶 |
\ 👅 /
____| |_____
/ ✊__/
\_✊
and grab some ranch
39
*Drops phone*
My brain-
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Me - “ope”
40
I am a midwesterner and I am
🔘Cold
🔘Not cold
☑️Wouldn’t be that bad without the wind
41
Midwest Thanksgiving:
⊂_ヽ
＼＼ ope, excuse me
＼( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> ⌒ヽ
/ へ＼
/ / ＼＼just gonna sneak
ﾚ ノ ヽ_つ
/ /
/ /|
( (ヽ
| |、＼right by ya
| 丿 ＼ ⌒)
| | ) /
ノ ) Lﾉ
(_) and grab some stuffing
42
“I think we landed” is the most midwestern response ever after a near death experience twitter.com/ABC7Chicago/st…
43
“Tornado warning, everyone please find shelter immediately”
midwesterners:
46
How cold is it in the midwest?
(credit: taylor_scallon)
47
therapist: what do we say when someone is mean to us?
midwesterners: no worries, seriously not a problem its my bad
therapist: no
49
Stop talking trash about different Midwest states:
Minnesota is ICONIC
Wisconsin is INSPIRING
Ohio is MAGNIFICENT
Michigan is STELLAR
Illinois
Iowa is CUTTING EDGE
50
Due to inclement weather, the Midwest will be closed for the next week
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody