227
Social distancing? You mean living in the rural Midwest
229
Anyone else get offended when someone passes you when you're already going 5-10 mph over the speed limit? Like sorry 70 in a 60 isn't good enough for you... I hope you get pulled over.
230
You haven’t had the true midwestern experience until you’ve hit a pothole so hard your soul leaves your body and end up apologizing to your car
231
Welcome to the Midwest
Winter is at 8am
Spring is at 11am
Summer is at 2pm
Fall is at 4pm
232
“What’s your favorite smell?”
Midwesterners:
233
I don’t care how old you get when you drive past a field with cows it’s mandatory to announce their presence “COWS”
234
When a Midwesterner says “the other day” it could mean 30 minutes or 30 years ago
235
Every midwesterner knows the only way to get warm in a cold car is scream as loud as possible and rub your hands together
236
For midwesterners “the other day” could mean yesterday, last month or 6 years ago
237
Can we get a nice day in March?
Midwest:
238
We talk about “Ope” as a midwestern phrase but we really need to talk about the “yeah, no” when we want to say no and “no, yeah” when we want to say yes
239
i am a:
⚪️ man
⚪️ woman
🔘 midwesterner
seeking:
⚪️ men
⚪️ women
🔘 a thunderstorm and tornado to entertain me during quarantine
240
Allow the Midwest to educate you this evening
241
When you ask a Midwesterner “how’s it going?”
242
Midwesterners online: "10°? Ha, maybe I'll wear a light jacket haha"
Midwesterners in private, to their friends: "HOLY Sh** man I don't know how much longer we can keep this facade up this is actually hell I can't walk outside without my eyeballs freezing over"
243
The Midwestern urge to take a handful of napkins from any restaurant and put them in the glove box
244
Let’s solve this as civilized midwesterners: how do you pronounce milk?
Retweet if it’s “m-ilk”
Like if it’s “m-elk”
245
If you’ve been hit with “hi hungry I’m dad” by your midwestern father you may be entitled to financial compensation
246
The official walls of I grew up in the Midwest
248
The Midwest Taught Me:
1. How to smell a storm
2. Dress in layers
3. Expect four seasons in an hour
4. How to drive in the snow and rain
5. Olympic level Cornhole skill
6. To tie something down to the point “it’s not going anywhere”
7. Less than a 16 hour drive? don’t fly
249
Midwesterners be like:
Ope
| 👀 |
\ /
____| |_____
/ ✊__/
\_✊
lemme
| 👀 |
\ /
____| |_____
/__✊ \
👋_/
sneak past ya
| 🕶 |
\ 👅 /
____| |_____
/ ✊__/
\_✊
& grab some Casey’s pizza 🍕
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody