201
“Tornado warning take shelter immediately”
Midwesterners:
202
driving in the midwest:
🌽🌽🌽| || ⚫ |🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽| 🚘 || |🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽| 🦌 || |🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽| ⚫ || |🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽| || 🚧|🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽| 🚜|| |🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽| 🕳️|| 🦌|🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽| || |🌽🌽🌽
203
Yeah sex is good but have you ever had Culver’s cheese curds?
205
“Just use bug spray”
The mosquitos in the Midwest:
207
Midwestern folk units of measurement:
Next door= 1-2 miles
Right up the road= 5-10 miles
Up North= 15-100 miles
A couple miles= 10-20 miles
Not too far= 20-50 minutes
A little ways= over an hour
A pretty good drive= 2 hours +
208
The Midwest just be throwing out temperatures like Power Ball Numbers 18 51 33 28 42
209
“What’s it like playing sports in the Midwest?”
midwesterners: twitter.com/alexishumphr3y…
210
Midwest weather just throwing temperatures out like Powerball
45 77 53 68 35 58
211
Yeah she’s cute but will she land a bag on the board in crunch time at the family cornhole tournament? 👏🏻
213
What is a midwesterner’s drug of
choice:
ope-ium
214
nobody: *tornado sirens*
midwesterners: “it’s wednesday my people"
215
Midwesterners in negative 15 degree degree with wind chill: “Wouldn’t be so bad out if it wasn’t for the wind..”
Meanwhile in Florida with a high of only 53 and it’s the end of the world
216
Queso = Spanish for cheese
K, so... = Midwestern for here’s the plan and you might not like it
217
Midwesterners: wake up today and
Get
This
🌽🌽🌽
🌽
🌽
🌽
🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽🌽
🌽 🌽
🌽 🌽
🌽 🌽
🌽 🌽🌽🌽
🌽 🌽🌽
🌽 🌽
🌽🌽🌽
🌽 🌽
🌽 🌽
🌽 🌽
🌽🌽 🌽
🌽 🌽🌽
🌽 🌽
218
Midwest satisfaction is kicking these off
219
How to know if a Midwesterner loves you:
- “I’ll start your car for you”
- “watch out for deer”
- “I’m bringing you culvers”
220
When asked where you're from:
*Names the biggest city you live by bc it's not worth explaining where you're actually from*
221
The Midwest has 13 seasons:
Winter
Fool’s Spring
Second Winter
Spring of Deception
Polar Vortex
“It wouldn’t be so bad out without the wind”
Actual Spring
Pothole season
Hell’s front porch
False Fall
Second summer
Mosquito Heaven
Actual Fall
222
*Midwesterner when it’s 100 degrees out*
Their brain:
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Them:
it’s hot but it wouldn’t be that bad without the humidity
223
*being held hostage by fellow midwesterners*
them: *holding a soda can in front of me* what is this called, bitch???!!!
me: it's a soda
them: *beating the shit out of me* you're from the midwest. it's called pop!
me: *spitting out blood* f*** you
224
Can you help me with this if not no worries I’m sorry
225
anybody: “how are you”
midwesterners: “wouldn’t be bad without the wind”
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody