576
The Ultimate Back Yard Chair
- uneven
- usually covered in dirt
- on the verge of breaking
- surprisingly comfortable
- could survive a nuclear explosion
- somehow always at the backyard bonfire
577
“Name an extreme Midwest sport”
When the corn gets so tall that you can’t see oncoming traffic at the intersection
579
It’s not the heat that gets ya, it’s the humidity
580
⚠️THIS IS THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE TAKE SHELTER NOW⚠️
┳┻|
┻┳| 🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨
┻┳| 🌪
┳┻|
┳┻|
┻┳| | 😀
┳┻| | |/🍺
┻┳| | ——\
581
Two main seasons of the Midwest
1. Winter
2. Construction
583
If you were subject to “hi hungry I’m dad” or “a bird is going to poop on that pouting lip” by your midwestern father you may be entitled to financial compensation
584
Yeah sex is good but have you experienced a Midwestern summer day without humidity?
585
“Let’s go for sushi”
Midwesterner: I’m in
586
Midwesterners be like “ooh a tasty snack”
587
Small town Midwest: *fireworks*
Urban Midwest: *fireworks* gunshots?!
589
Midwesterners: bring salad to the Memorial Day BBQ
The salad:
590
The best part of the Midwest is the bars with free popcorn
591
Speak midwestern
No Yeah = Yes
Yeah no = No
Yeah no for sure = Definitely
Yeah no yeah = I’m sorry unfortunately, the answer is yes
No yeah no = oh yeah nothing to worry about
Welp: exclamation before it’s time to go or “I guess that’s how it goes”
Ope: shorthand apology
594
Midwest parents love to drive their kids 14 hours on vacation instead of fly just to walk faster than them everywhere and make fun of them for sleeping in
595
People always make fun of midwesterners for not taking cover during a tornado when it’s literally called “tornado watch”
596
Saying goodbye in the Midwest
_______|
|
Knee slap ———> “Welp, i spose”
|
Hugs < ————Talk in the doorway
|
Walking to the car conversation
|
More hugs
597
(•_•)
<) )╯Ope
/ \
\(•_•)
( (> lemme just
/ \
(•_•)
<) )> squeeze past you and grab
/ \ the tater tot casserole out of
the oven
598
Midwesterner: sorry for bothering you
Surgeon: you seriously shouldnt be awake for this
599
i am a:
⚪️ man
⚪️ woman
🔘 midwesterner
seeking:
⚪️ men
⚪️ women
🔘 a thunderstorm and tornado for entertainment
600
*tornado rolls in*
Southerners: EVERYBODY DOWN STAIRS NOW
Midwesterners: “billy grab your camera and a net we’ve got a Nader to catch”
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody