426
Things that aren’t Midwestern but feel very Midwestern
427
“I just need to run into target quick”
She was never seen again
428
3 absolute truths
Death
Taxes
Not so bad without the wind
429
Midwesterners really be like I’m only walking from the door to the car so I don’t need a coat
433
Therapist: how are you
Midwesterner: living the dream
Therapist: 🤦♂️
436
On any given Christmas in the Midwest you can have a foot of snow or 50° weather
437
“Are we getting a tornado or blizzard today?”
The Midwest: yes
438
The lawn “doesn’t stand a chance”starter pack
439
Midwest satisfaction is kicking these off
440
Driving by a car you know in a small town
441
everything you need to know about the Midwest
442
Gas pump in the summer: begin fueling
Gas pump in the winter:
1. Pay here or inside?
2. Would you like a car wash?
3. When was your last visit?
4. Please present 3 forms of ID
5. 2 for 1 breakfast sandwiches inside
6. Begin fueling after this short survey
444
If you take the pothole count from Iowa and multiply that by the unfinished road construction in Illinois you get Ohio
446
The CDC announced that it is perfectly safe to roll your windows down and enjoy a 50° day in December
447
School: today is ranch day
That one midwesterner:
448
Midwest Wrapped:
1. 7,845 ope’s
2. 34,076 potholes hit
3. 5,872 “welp, alright’s”
4. 6,549 deer avoided
5. 1,542 “not so bad without the wind/humidity”
449
Spotted Cow. That’s it. That’s the tweet
450
Happy porch refrigeration season to those who participate
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody