1126
Thunderstorms when you’re going to bed >
1127
Saying goodbye in the Midwest
_______|
|
Knee slap ———> “Welp, i spose”
|
Hugs < ————Talk in the doorway
|
Walking to the car conversation
|
More hugs
1128
There is this funny phenomenon happening in the Midwest where the heat is on yet the windows are open for fresh cool air
1129
Official weather report for April 7: it’s not terrible, but it’s the wind that gets ya
1130
New Yorkers: “I can’t live somewhere small like the Midwest”
also New Yorkers:
1132
South: this is the coldest it’s been in decades
Northerners: cold?! I was born in an igloo. My first job was for Santa in the North Pole and I rode a polar bear to work every day. We eat ice for breakfast
1134
❄️❄️❄️ ❄️❄️❄️ ❄️❄️❄️
❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️
❄️ ❄️ ❄️❄️❄️ ❄️❄️❄️
❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️
❄️❄️❄️ ❄️ ❄️❄️❄️
Don’t mind if I drop a few inches on ya
1136
When trying to pay your gas turns into a million question survey
1138
Midwest potholes are so traumatic that people swerve at shadows on the road
1139
Midwest wives: he’s probably out with other women
Midwest Dads:
1141
Midwesterners who leave without saying goodbye save an average of 3 weeks per year but feel 10x guiltier
1143
Midwesterner: sorry for bothering you
Surgeon: you seriously shouldnt be awake for this
1144
Midwesterners are like “take highway 5 north 15 miles then exit onto county road T15, take the first left past the church and you’re there when you see Dave’s shed with half the paint chipped off on the north side”
like no I’ll just use Google maps Lewis & Clark but thanks
1145
Ope,
Lemme sneak past ya.
Best,
Midwest
1146
People from the Midwest are another breed..
Immune to the extreme high and low temperatures
If you ask us it’s not the heat it’s the humidity
And it’s not the cold but the dang wind
1147
Midwest Red Flags:
1. Doesn’t put plate face down in trash with unfinished food
2. Doesn’t wave people through 4-way stops
3. Doesn’t “Ope, sorry”
4. Thinks that any trip over 10 hours is too far too drive
1148
Midwest culture is planning car washes and filling up on gas around the warmest days of the week
1149
Fun Things to Do in the Midwest:
- fist fight mosquitos
- have a heat stroke
- get frost bite and hypothermia
- run from wasps
- get third degree sunburn
- run the heat and AC on the same day
1150
I need a license plate that says “OPE SRY” so I can be a good Midwesterner and apologize when I accidentally cut someone off
Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody